8/30/05

Faith Hill

from her new album

"Fireflies"

song title

"Like we never Loved at all"

You never looked so good
as you did last night,
underneath the city lights,
there walking with your friend,
laughing at the moon.
I swear you looked right through me.
But I’m still living with your goodbye,
and you’re just going on with your life.

How can you just walk on by
without one tear in your eye?
Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that’s just your way
of dealing with the pain,
forgetting everything
between our rise and fall
like we never loved at all.

You, I hear you’re doing fine.
Seems like you’re doing well
as far as I can tell.
Time is leaving us behind,
(time – leaving us behind)
another week has passed
and still I haven’t laughed yet.
So tell me, what your secret is
(I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)
to letting go, letting go like you did,
like you did.

Did you forget the magic?
Did you forget the passion?
Oh, and did you ever miss me,
and long to kiss me?
Oh baby, baby.

Maybe that’s just your way
of dealing with the pain,
forgetting everything
between our rise and fall
like we never loved at all.

I heard this song not 5 minutes ago. The lyrics are perfect. They are exactly how I feel. Hope this helps. Though I doubt it. I know he ins’t worth it. I know I can do better. Like I tell everyone, easier said then done. They tell me he isn’t worth my tears. I know this. But I can’t help how I feel. I can’t just turn my heart off, and ferget everythin we shared. I wish it were that easy. When he showed up here this mornin. I was kinda glad that he was runnin late, and that we didn’t meet after all at McDonald’s. When he called me when he got here, I walked out the door, let him see me so he knew where the office was, and walked back in. I immediately ran to the bathroom, and lost it. And of course, all the girls here knew what was goin on. I really was hopin that I wouldn’t do that. I didn’t want to talk bout this with anyone. I know it is meant well, but I am tired of everyone tellin me, he isn’t worth it. You can do better. I know this, BUT I CAN’T HELP HOW I FEEL!!!!!! I know they mean well. Everyone that cares bout me, just want me to be happy. But right now I just want to curl up in a ball, cry, hide, die, what the fuck ever.

Poor me, right? I don’t want anyone else’s pity, but I think I have earned the right to feel sorry fer myself, just once in my life. I don’t want to think about how everyone else thinks I am so strong. I sure as hell don’t feel very strong right now. Liek I told a friend of mine last nite, it is a good thing I threw out all my pills a couple weeks ago. All I had in the house was 1 Percocet, and I took it just so I could sleep last nite. Lot of fuckin good that did. I didn’t sleep worth o shit.

Ok, I am sorry if this seems rash. I really don’t act this way, atleast I hope most of yall know that. I am just EXREMELY heart broken right now. And this is how I vent I guess.