Cars Passing.

"Oh god."
I pulled my bag over my stomach and stared down at the sidewalk, being careful to miss the cracks.
I could hear the light and steady beats of her footsteps growing closer towards me, turning up my
music I fiddled for a smoke in my bag, struggling to find the lighter.
"Hey." I looked up.
She was as beautiful as the first time I had saw in her in Elementary school.
Her collar bones pushed against her skin, and her ankles clicked when she walked.
I was looking into a mirror, only the eyes staring back at me where a green – blue instead of
a dull brown.
I took off my headphones and acted surprised, looking at her shaved down hips and
piano fingers.
The pressure was too much for her in highschool, and she had
simply stopped eating.
I remebered the last time I had seen her, she had sat behind me in my English exam with
a bag of carrot sicks and a black coffee.
She ate one carrot stick and threw the rest out, then left the classroom and never returned again.
"I’m doing good." We exchanged lies and she cracked a jester smile.
She knew my eating disorder to well, and I knew hers.
I cried the rest of the way to work, wishing it would rain so the cars passing couldn’t see my tears.

We exchanged angry and confused emails too each other, and he asked why I had ended it.
I told him I wanted a break, I wanted to starve.
Mia lied through my teeth, she wanted me all to myself and I wanted her, and the next three
days consisted of large amounts of food and the echoing sound
of the toilet flushing.
We held teeth-charred hands and she held my hair as I choked out my feelings.
I looked into the mirror and my eyes looked green blue behind the smears of mascara.
I bit my lip and looked into the sink.
It was raining outside but I didn’t cry.
No, no crying tonight.