Interesting Night

I always seem to fall asleep mid-task on Friday, SMH. Last night I was writing a post here before bed. Next thing you know, it was morning.

I was out late trying to scrape together money for bills, and I got met with numerous “hooker” and “schemer” accusations, inquiries, and assumptions once again. Sigh.

I’m literally delivering food while I’m in between jobs. No “personal”services are offered or have ever been offered or exchanged. I do get an occasional cash tip here and there, but they aren’t payments for things that aren’t on the service menu. Get real.

There are several services I could toggle off and on at will, but none of them have anything to do with sexual works. Nice try on the smears and attempted setups, though.

It was a tough week. 

I’ve been getting put through a crap-ton of trials and tribulations. The situations get a little easier to walk through every day, but my pockets still suffer because I still don’t have the burning desire to:

• work for Company Nauseum
• have relationship, relations, or communications with former “mishandlers”
• move from my home
• compromise my values
• claim something that isn’t true about myself just to make others feel better about how they did me

I’ve been smeared with just about every lie, had all aspects of my past dragged, had my privacy violated and boundaries crossed, been called all kinds of whores, fakers, liars, crazies, thieves, N-words, scumbuckets, threatened to oblivion, etc. And yeah, it still doesn’t make me want to do anything from the above list. It actually solidifies my stance even more, lmao.

Some good has come out of it, though. It has built more resilience and strength. If I get pulled out of these awful circumstances, my faith, belief, and trust will be stronger, too. If I don’t get pulled out of them, I’ll assume I’m being carried in another direction.

All I can do is apply for a job and keep doing what I’ve been doing until someone from that establishment calls me back. If they don’t ever call, then I will have to continue to do the best I can with what I have. That might mean more losses ahead, but such is life.

The Sabbath and its restrictions have always been tricky subjects. Some believe it’s one day. Some believe it’s another day. Some do 12 hours, 24 hours, evening to evening, sun up to sundown, sun up to sun up and everything in between. Many people have even changed their stances on days and times over the years.

Some refer to one book for information about what can and can’t be done. Some use additional books, traditions, pastorial guidance, etc. It’s something that each person of faith has to decide on their own after praying, reading, researching, and getting wise counsel. Then they have to weigh the cost of choosing to honor it.