A Whole New Understanding (Written Last Night)

It has been a fiery few weeks, lmao. I’ve been taken through just about every uncomfortable emotion that exists and then some. I’ve been taken through stuff I’ve been avoiding for years, stuff I probably needed to face, and stuff that just plain sucked. The experience was definitely not for the faint of heart, but I’m kind of glad I had it.

You see, I needed to be broken out of caring so much what other people think of me because it was holding me back and keeping an invisible string attached. I *said* I no longer cared what people thought, but I still did deep down. I cared about being called names. I cared about being falsely accused. I cared about being gossiped about, looked down upon, questioned, refuted, ridiculed, humiliated, etc.

Recent circumstances had compelled some not-so-nice parties to air and rehash all my past dirty laundry, and that caused confusion, avoidance, ostracization, and an uptick of colorful comments from the masses, lol. I heard most of the comments and opinions with my physical ears and eyes. Others I experienced with much greater depth and “insight”. The messages were equally painful regardless of how I received them.

When stuff like that happens to a person, it will end one of two ways. They will either have a nervous breakdown or they’ll realize that only ONE opinion should be taken to heart and soul. That’s the opinion of the One who already knows all truths. 

Smear campaigns say much more about the smearers’ characters than they do about the person being smeared. That’s about all I have left to say on these matters.  

I didn’t have a nervous breakdown, but I did learn a few good lessons from these experiences.

• Never piss off a corporation.
• Never piss on a corporation.
• Fight for what you want.
• Let people do what they do best.
• Silence doesn’t always mean a person or party “doesn’t care.”
• You can’t make anyone see something they don’t want to see.

I also did a lot of thinking about the events in my life over the past few years. I’ll just say that I gained a whole new understanding of those happenings. I laughed during my moment of clarity because I should have known.

I’ll definitely have to change my approach to the job application process, lmao.

Welp, I’m tired. I was on a loot-getting journey all day and will need to do the same tomorrow.

I’m unable to view any of the comments people left on my previous entry. I can’t respond to things I can’t view, so …