NoJoMo 13 – Well Done

More like over done. I spent most of today hibernating. When I wasn’t trying to sleep I was grouchy and argumentative and wanting to cry. I don’t like that feeling, and I sure as hell don’t like me like this. Of course that is not much different than the usual self-loathing, it’s just harder to ignore on days like this.

I am run down -run over more likely- and am just fracking tired of the bullshit. I would like one day where nothing gets to me, nothing invades and picks holes in the small bits of happiness that I try to hold onto. I’ve managed to silence most of the damn little voices that used to eat at me so that is progress, now it is just everything else that the voices were drowning out.

I don’t know what is wrong with me, but something has got to change.

If I can’t stand myself like this, what am I doing to the people I care about?