Too Particular?
After a lot of thinking, I have to wonder if perhaps I’m just too demanding. Personally, I think I just know what I like and get easily annoyed when lesser influences get in my way. Perhaps I’m a bit of an elitist in some respects. Then again, with the way I let my house go and other people are obsessed with pristine homes, I’d have to say that I’m just picking different things than most are to focus on.
First, there’s the parenting thing. I have a real issue with people whose kids teach mine bad habits. I’m not saying my kids don’t have bad habits of their own, but some of them are really starting to drive me nuts. For example, kids in my house aren’t allowed to play with doors. That’s a great way for a kid to get hurt. It all starts out fun and all until someone’s finger gets shut in the door. However, the neighbor’s daughter plays with doors all the time. As a result, I’m constantly trying to keep my son from playing with doors. The same goes for climbing up onto the cabinets and opening up cabinet doors. He never used to do that before he started spending time with the neighbors’ daughter. It’s not that he never tested that boundary. He definitely did. However, I broke him of that habit quickly. Same goes for putting everything in his mouth. He hasn’t done that since he was a year and a half old. Now everything goes in his mouth. These are just a couple things surrounding one family, but seriously, I’m not a fan of the traits my kids are picking up.
Maybe I hold my family to higher standards. I don’t let my kids snack all day. Even if it were healthy for them to graze all day, I just can’t afford all that junk food. I don’t let them wander around the house with food in their hands. That’s a great way to carry the mess all over the house and I don’t want to have to sweep the entire floor ten times a day because my kids were running around with food. It’s bad enough when it’s centralized by the table. Instead of moving all my breakable things out of the reach of my children, I simply teach them that they’re not to touch them. I teach my children what will be expected of them. Because of that, I never have to worry about visiting with a friend that’s house isn’t "child-proofed". They deal with that every day at home. I guess I just feel that children who are going to grow up with a decent sense of respect, discipline, and the ability to act like adults need to be raised in an environment that teaches them to respect other people’s property and act in a civilized manner. I understand that children are just children and need to have the freedom to explore and run wild, but when I’m not allowed to display nice things because they’ll be broken in no time, I’ve got to watch the kids like hawks, and everything else, I don’t feel that’s going to teach them anything positive. It’s only going to make me stressed out and resent my children. I mean, I wouldn’t even be able to have an altar at a practical height because my children would get into it, break things, and destroy it. I’m sorry, but I feel children need to be raised to have some kind of sense of what is right and acceptable.
Then there’s the whole thing with making friends. Oz has been on me a lot about wanting to meet people. He can talk to just about everyone. He has no problem talking about meaningless things for hours on end. He can sit and chat with people about subjects I find entirely dull. Maybe my standards are too high. I just get bored talking about pointless things. Am I the only person in the world that enjoys having deep and meaningful conversations and hates to just sit and talk about the weather? As much as I like knitting, there’s only so much I can talk about it. I like horses, but horse people drive me nuts because it’s all about horses. I love belly dance, but I can’t just talk about famous dancers, choreographies, or moves. I’m not into talking about famous people. I have no interest in most political topics because people just get too heated about it. I enjoy talking about spirituality. I love to learn. Subjects of history, particularly history I know and enjoy are wonderful. I guess I’m just not destined to find that. I guess small talk is required to get to know people well enough for such things, but…I don’t know.
I just can’t seem to find people I enjoy spending time with. I want people who are intelligent and educated, but not cocky and superior. I want friends who have the decency not to let their children destroy my house and my property. I don’t even care if their kids teach mine bad habits, just as long as they’re dangerous bad habits. Just plain annoying I can handle. I want friends who want to talk about something other than who’s sleeping with who and what all the good gossip is. I want to be involved with people who actually give a damn about me for once and don’t try and make it all about my kids, sex, or getting something out of me. I want people to see me and not immediately ask "so when are you going to pop out that baby already?" I want people who actually give a damn about things that interest me for once, not just wanting to talk about themselves all the time. To top it all off, I’m tired of being invisible because no one gives a damn about what I have to say because it’s not gossip and other stupid stuff like that. Is that really too much to ask?
~*~Raven Night~*~