Pagan Drama BS? I Give Up…

Well, I did what Oz wanted me to do.  I gave FHOC a second chance.  I went out there.  I did my best.  I got thrown into a supposed position of authority to try and help the new priestess.  I was excited and ready to go with it.  Unfortunately, I’m starting to wish I’d gone with my instinct and stayed out of it.

Thus far it looks like there’s a whole drama game because there’s people out there who don’t like me.  I’m running ritual this weekend and there are already two people who said they weren’t going after they found out I was running it.  I’m sorry, but that’s just childish.  Neither of them has ever been to a ritual I’ve run.  I could understand if they didn’t like the way I ran my rituals, but that would imply they’ve been to them.  Without that, how would they know.  It’s frustrating to see that the Pagan community is so incredibly childish!

There’s also been drama on their message board.  Because I didn’t bow down in praise of the "children’s program" on the yahoo group, but instead pointed out what was wrong with it.  I said that we’d be happy to make a children’s program, if there was interest and enough people were willing to help, but we needed kids of an age to be taught and the parents to agree on what will be covered and how.  This is something that will require planning, money, and kids to participate, all things we don’t have right now.

Unfortunately, what is the DFGL, the high priestess, the girl in charge of it all doing about it?  Nothing!  She’s not making a single effort to stop any of the drama.  She’s not setting people straight when they believe people are attacking the children’s program.  She’s not telling people to grow up when some woman on the message board complains that she doesn’t go out to circle anymore because she’s found it not to be kid-friendly.  She’s also done nothing about people talking about me and my boyfriend behind my back.  She allows the drama to go on right in front of her nose.  On top of that, she’s talking about ditching ritual this weekend to go to renn faire.  That means she’s not even going to be at the ritual I’m running.  Nice way to know that she supports me as her assistant in all of this!  Nice to know she supports my rituals.  I’m getting the feeling she wanted me to do this upcomming ritual so she could take the week off.  It doesn’t help that we’ve been trying to contact her all weekend and she hasn’t been answering her phone!  Her voicemail message.  "Hello?  Oh, sorry, this is just my voicemail." etc…  Is incredibly unprofessional.  She’s not once returned my call in all the times we’ve tried to contact her this weekend.  Apparently she doesn’t answer anyone’s calls, nor call anyone back.

Then what do I hear about her?  Apparently she spent all of last weekend getting drunk and flirting with every man they went to renn faire with.  Then she was seen on Monday on a collar and leash, sitting on some guy’s lap.  She’s married!  She almost got divorced because her husband found out she kissed someone else.  He’s already paranoid about what she’s doing with other men.  I hate to say it, but I can’t blame him!  I feel really bad about it, but I’m staying out of it.  If he asks me, I honestly haven’t seen any of it first hand, or I would tell him what I know.  However, I think it’s wrong that she’s doing this and it’s a VERY bad image to be upholding as the face of FHOC.  As high priestess, she should live her life as an example of Pagan living.  If her example thus far is really a standard in the Pagan community, no wonder so many other people have a negative opinion of us!

Anyhow, I gave it all a second chance and I’m done.  If no one shows up this weekend and I find out it had anything to do with me as a person, I’m handing in my resignation.  I may just tell the high priestess that after Midsummer, I’m done.  I’ll run the ritual.  I’ll do the class on neo-tribal bonfire magic.  Aside from that, I’m done.  I’m not going to continue to be a participant in circle if I’m not going to be able to get in charge of the woman I’m supposed to be assisting.  I’m not going to be able to assist her if she won’t talk to me and I never see her.  I’m just done.

Honestly, I’ve got better things to focus on with my time.  I’m actually getting somewhere in the dance world.  I’m advertising, promoting, setting up additional classes, and getting my career together.  I’m actually making progress in my life as a dancer.  I can take all this extra time that’s being devoted to FHOC and turn that into time I spend on my dance career.  I think I’m just wasting my time with all of this.  Realistically, I’m giving it until Halloween.  If by then things haven’t turned around, and I’m not expecting them to, I’m no longer going to be involved with FHOC.  That is, if I haven’t quit before then.  After that point, I’ll be gearing up for a new baby.  I’ll hopefully be plenty busy with dance classes, unless something happens and I have to quit.  I’ll have other things to keep my mind, body, and spirit occupied that actually resonate with me.  I’ll have something that actually gives me a sense of fulfilment.  I don’t need circle for that.

So I guess once again, there’s a timer on this one.  I’ve given them two chances.  I’m done.

~*~Rave~*~