Fire Hurts…

Yeah, I know, that’s a no brainer there…  However, I found out from first hand experience just how much it hurts.  That’s right…  There was an accident.  I got burned at a fire performance…

Now before you all worry about me, it’s nothing major.  This skin is really tender because a couple layers were scrubbed off in taking off the residue from the burnt fuel that was left on my arm.  It was nothing major.  A couple spots are a little bit deeper than that.  It’s no worse than a scrape or a floor burn.  However, things rubbing against it in even the most slight way makes it scream in pain.  It doesn’t take much to make your skin that raw.  You can do it just scrubbing with a course brush.  So I have it wrapped for sake of ease.  It’s kind of cool today and I want to wear a sweatshirt.  This just makes my life easier.  However, normally I wouldn’t even care.

It’s not really a long story either, or anyone doing anything dangerous.  Hawk and I were dancing together, as we often do.  The staff spun in a way I don’t think either of us quite expected.  He slightly lost control as I slightly moved the wrong way and it got caught between my arms.  It made pretty solid contact there on one of them, the one that’s burned.  We both pretty much froze after I got my arm out of contact with the staff.  Then in a split second I dropped the star with one hand, we swept away from each other now that the staff was free, and we went on as though nothing had happened.  My arm was stinging the whole time, but it wasn’t really more than an annoyance.

When all was said and done, the only part that hurt was getting the charred black stuff off my arm.  My arm didn’t blister or anything so I think it had more to do with the fuel than my arm.  However, it did make my arm quite tender in getting it off.  And in all of that, i was more disappointed about having to scrub off the henna that Krystal did than I was upset about being burned!

And in truth, it was a good thing.  I’m not as afraid of the fire as I used to be.  As much as I hated to say it, I always feared what I would do if I was burned.  How would I react.  In truth, I knew what I’d do.  I’d handle it just like everything else in my life.  First I’d say "Wow, that sucked".  Then I’d get out of the situation causing the pain.  Then I’d try and figure out what needed to be done to make the situation better, and that’s exactly what I did.  However, I didn’t really trust myself.  I didn’t believe it.  Now I have no reason not to believe it.  That’s exactly what I did!

Another point of honesty is why it happened.  In truth, I had gotten a little too comfortable with the fire.  I’d started to take it for granted.  As long as I was safe, I couldn’t get hurt, right?  Boy was I wrong!  Hawk is one of the safest performers I’ve ever known.  We had taken every precaution.  However, accidents still do happen.  It’s sort of like one of those wake-up calls, "Hello, fire is still dangerous, you dumb butt!"  Then I get on with my life and things get better.  It’ll probably happen a handful more times, but each time I’ll learn to handle it a little better.  You always pray that nothing major happens, but you never truly can know.  That’s why they call them accidents, right?

It was a learning experience.  It was one that I really needed, and I think I handled it better than most people would.  It’s an experience I’ll never truly forget either.

~*~Raven Night~*~

So you’ve heard the bad, so now for the good…

1) I got to improv with another dancer I’d never even met last night.  It was so much fun!

2) Krystal, Gina, Will and I all went out to dinner last night.  Well, I didn’t really have dinner.  I had a brownie, but still…  It was so nice to be able to get out and do something like that.  I rarely go out to dinner anymore, even more rarely without any kids around!

3) Krystal and I had a nice long talk in the car.  I swear, she was talking as much, possibly more than I was!  I love that!  It was just so comfortable.  I was so glad I could find someone I connected so well with.  I feel like I’m finally finding my place in the world.  Who knew it would be in Texas?

4) The choreography for November Noir is coming together!  Now if only I can remember it all until the show!

5) Not only did Krystal come to the drum circle, but even after seeing me burn myself, she thinks she’d like to try it some day.  It’s so nice to have another interest in common.

6) Even though I got burned, I stayed completely level headed about the whole thing.  It sucked, but I proved I can keep it together in the event of a fire performing emergency.

7)   It’s finally starting to feel like fall!!!

8) I got a new black veil.  It’s got these little silver pieces on it.  It’s so not me, but very pretty.  I fell in love and had to have it.  Their such a bad addiction!  I’ll end up with one for every costume at this rate!

9) I’m really getting excited about my books, DVD, and the Waldorf Doll stuff coming in the mail.  The anticipation is killing me and it’s barely been any time!

10) I’ve finally started to find fun, community, and a place where I can really be me.  I’ve been looking for this for so long!  While I’m afraid that it’s not going to last and will all come crashing down, for the time being I’ve found happiness.  I’m going to live for these happy moments as long as they happen to last!