Because Everyone “Knows”

Why is it that everyone knows when I’m going to have the baby and what the baby is going to be.  They all know this with conviction, like it’s some kind of fact.  I’m going to have the baby on the date they say (though they always say they could be a day off…I guess it’s just to give themselves some more wiggle room to be right) and they already know the gender.  So many of these people also claim they’re "never wrong", so therefore, I must be having the baby when they say.

The biggest thing from the start was the boy/girl vote.  Most people have jumped camps a few times, though they always claimed they were in the same camp the entire time.  There was even a large number of people insisting I was having twins.  Everyone was trying to guess what I was having by how I was carrying the baby.  They did that with Corde too, and by the old wive’s tale, she should have been a boy!  That means Beekee should have been a girl.  If that’s the case, this one should be a girl too.  However, everyone swears I’m having a boy.  Just to throw my own perspective in, I’ve never been right.  It’s always been the opposite of what I think it is, and I think the baby is a boy.  From what I’ve been reading, 80% of the time, the mom is right, even if it’s in a backwards sort of way like I am.  I’m not trying to say I know or anything.  I’m just saying that I’m kind of sick of everyone saying I’m definitely having a boy and if I do have a boy, they’ll feel all validated and proud of themselves.  I hate to say it, but there’s a 50% chance they’ll be right.  I don’t count that as some massively high odds, nor does that any further validate that they’re "always right".  Perhaps they’ve just been lucky.

Then there’s the due date.  Everyone always has an opinion on when the baby is going to be born.  Everyone swears that they know more than science and medicine can offer right now.  The only way to scientifically ensure your baby will be born on a specific day is to schedule an induction or a c-section.  Even then the baby may come earlier than expected.  I don’t know how these people can be right all the time, but I honestly don’t buy it.  I don’t care how spiritually connected they are or whatever it is.  In my experiences, those "always right" people are generally wrong, but they change their story after the fact.

For example, my ex claims to be a powerful shaman.  He swore up and down at first that he knew I was pregnant before I did.  I think, in reality, he just had a feeling I was going to get pregnant more than I actually already was.  With how much I was sulking and whining about how badly I wanted a baby and how it was frustrating because all my friends were getting pregnant, I don’t think anyone was surprised when it turned out that I was.  I think everyone was expecting it.  Caelan swore up and down that the baby would be a boy.  Then when my measurements didn’t match up the way they were supposed to, he swore it would be twin girls, one with red hair and green eyes, one with dark hair and gray eyes.  He also swore up and down that I was going to have the baby on December 6th.  Well, it’s December 10th and there’s still no baby yet.  So much for him being a super powerful shaman that’s never wrong.  Then again, he was wrong on Corde’s birth day.  He said May 1st or May 5th.  He was wrong with Aris’s birth date.  He said that would be March 16th or on my birthday.  Why would he be right about this one?  And while he got the gender right on the past two children, it’s entirely possible that it was just luck.

I have another friend who claims to never be wrong.  He swears the baby is going to be a boy.  He’s insistent that the baby is going to be born on Saturday.  Of course, let’s ignore the fact that I’ve never gone into labor suddenly and that trends in childbirth experiences do happen and generally can help predict situations that would help anticipate when labor will begin.  However, he’s certain the baby is going to be born on Saturday because he’s never been wrong.  Of course, a few months ago he was saying about the same date and he admitted that he’s often within two or three days of the date, but we’ll ignore that one, I guess.

Most of the dates everyone said I would have the baby have passed already.  My gut instinct says the 16th or the 21st, so I’m not worried about having this baby soon.  I’m not at the point of just wanting it over already.  When my contractions do come, it’s usually just one or two at a time, sometimes as many as three.  With both my other two I was having enough contractions to make me wonder if it was labor before it stopped for a few days before the birth.  If that trend were to follow through, I’d probably be having those contractions already.  I would have had other signs that this baby is coming as well.  Thus far there’s been nothing.  On top of that, I’m not mentally hitting the point most women do when they’re ready to have the baby.  I’m not getting to the point where I want to plead with the baby to just get out already.  I’m not getting impatient yet.  In short, I just don’t feel ready to go yet.  I know people keep telling me that this baby could decide to come and it will all happen really fast, but I don’t think I’m suddenly going to go into labor with no warning and pop the baby out in no time.  From what I’ve seen, unless a woman has a history of labors that go that fast, that sort of thing only happens in movies.  At this point, I’m still comfortable.  I’m only just now starting to have trouble sleeping.  That irritability I get towards the end is only starting to kick in.  On top of that, my due date was pushed back again, so I’ve got another two weeks before this baby is considered at 40 weeks, so if I have the baby now, it will be early, the first time any of my children have ever gone early.

I don’t know.  I’m just getting tired of everyone telling me how it’s going to be.  I don’t want to hear the "I told you so" if they just so happen to be lucky.  Like I said, with gender it’s a 50% chance, so it’s not like there’s a lot of room for error there.  For the due date, well, there’s always the odd lucky guess.  I just wish everyone would stop trying to speculate about when this baby is going to be born.  Can’t they just be patient?  And honestly, I’m tired of people telling me what my body and my child are going to do.  I know it’s all fun and games for them, but for me it’s just getting old.  I’ve had to listen to this for nearly nine months already.  At this point, I’m just done on the whole thing.  I’m ready for that part to be over.

That’s another thing I’m getting si

ck of.  People keep telling me that I must be so done with this pregnancy.  I must be ready to give this kid it’s eviction.  I’ve got people asking me how long they’ll let me go before they schedule my induction.  After all, I must be so miserable.  I’m apparently so uncomfortable and irritated.  I’m supposed to be hitting the wall and ready for this baby to get out.  I’m supposed to be hitting that point where I’m willing to try anything to induce labor.  I’m supposed to be at that point where I just want this baby out already.  Can’t anyone accept that I don’t care about that?  This baby will come when it comes.  I’m in no hurry.  On top of that, what’s the point in getting anxious about it?  All I’m going to do is stress and frustrate myself more with the whole thing.  When this baby is ready, it will come.  When it’s time, it will happen.  Until that point, all wallowing in misery because it would be so much better if the baby would just be born already is pointless.  Is it really so hard to believe that I may just be okay with the waiting game at this point?  Yes, I want to meet this baby.  Yes, I want my body back, but I’m not going out of my mind with the need, and people seem to think I’ve been so ready for this for almost a month before my last due date, and that was before they pushed it back again!

I’m just tired of people telling me what’s going to happen or what I must be going through like they’re some kind of authority on the matter.  If anything is going to make me ready to have this pregnancy over with, it’s so people will quit already!  Of course, that opens a whole new can of worms, like everyone nosing into when I’m going to wean my child, when I start solid foods, what I feed the baby, where it sleeps, when it sleeps, all of that.  I’m just thinking people need to get a life and stop trying to put their noses where they don’t belong!  After all, they would complain were they in the same situation!

~*~Raven Night~*~