Baby Thoughts…
This baby has inspired so many ideas in my head. I’ve had ideas and inspirations I never would have had before this baby, from dance to crafting to everything else. It’s been an inspiring pregnancy! I’m starting to think this baby has much more impact on my life than just increasing the size of my family! I’m very excited about that.
First off, the baby has a name! Okay, I should be fair. The baby definitely has a final name if it’s a boy. It’s down to one of two names if it’s a girl. I don’t know why, but knowing the baby has a name somehow makes it all the more real. Not knowing the gender I’m finding it harder than usual to connect with the baby. It’s harder to think of it as a real little life. It’s more just an idea right now. With my other two, they had names almost as soon as we knew the gender. It made it real. I could talk to the baby with a name attached. I could treat it like a real person. Now it’s so much harder because it’s lacking that fundamental element every person has. Of course, that’s also part of the fun. The baby is something exciting and I’m anticipating it more because I want to know what it is! I want to know what name my little baby will be getting!
The baby has done a lot of good for me in unexpected ways too. It’s encouraged my knitting. It’s given me inspiration with dance. It’s helped me find out a lot about who I am, what I want from my life, and what I regret doing. It’s taught me so much about myself and it isn’t even born yet! Isn’t it amazing how that works.
I’m not going to go very far into my regrets. I will admit that I had kids too young. I didn’t have a chance to enjoy the life of freedom I could have had and now I’m feeling very isolated and restricted. Life is hard with kids. I kind of regret taking that from Oz too. It’s true that he does have another child to support, but he doesn’t have to take care of that child day in and day out. He’s just got to financially support him (and let me tell you, that’s going to be a burden!), which leaves him with a lot of his freedom. I kind of wish he could keep some of that and enjoy it a bit longer before he had to settle down with a family because I know I kind of regret it. Some day he will too, not that he knows it now. Right now he thinks a family is what he wants, and perhaps at heart it is. I’d never give up my kids or change that part of my life for anything, but I do feel like I missed something. It’s not their fault at all. My kids have brought me so much joy. I just wish I’d thought more on it before I jumped into parenting, maybe waited a bit longer, had my fun before I settled down.
This baby has also brought me to teaching prenatal bellydance! That’s very exciting for me. The research I’ve done has taught me a lot about the art I love so much. I’m really glad I got to research it and I think I’m going to be trying to find students even after the baby is born. We could always use a little extra income and I think prenatal bellydance has a lot to offer the community. What better way to prepare for birth than a dance that uses the same moves as the whole birthing process?
Prenatal bellydance has lead me to publishing for the local bellydance newsletter. I’m going to have a series of articles on bellydance and pregnancy. That’s going to be exiting. It’s also a great way to get my name out there. I’ll be published where other dancers will be exposed to my name and my work. It will hopefully drive traffic to my website. Perhaps it will lead dancers in the city to refer students to me if they know anyone in the area. This could be very good for business.
This interest in prenatal bellydance has also brought me to realize my true love in bellydance. It’s taught me that my home is really with ATS. I love that form of dance more than anything else! I think it’s really where I belong as a dancer. I found the connection I needed to enjoy dance again. I thought that’s what I was getting out of performing, but I was sadly misguided. I love performing and all, but I’ve found a deeper connection in dance. It’s like I’m finally home!
This baby has also brought another inspiration for knitting! I’m thinking about opening up an etsy store for knitted goods. I want to make baby stuff. I’m thinking about making sets of longies, sweaters, hats, and booties or socks for babies. Given how well longies sell on etsy, I can imagine full little outfits will go well too. I can’t imagine outfits would do any less well. There are some pricey longies out there! I think the draw to making these little outfits for me is that a baby in knitted pants and a t-shirt or the like just doesn’t work for me. For longies to work as a soaker, they can’t be worn with a onesie. I really wanted to do something that looks a little more complete. For summer I’m thinking of making shorties with little tank tops to go with them and maybe little sun hats. I can make the shorties in wool so they still fit the soaker function and the rest out of cotton. That way the rest of it is cool, light, and breathable, but the bottoms still fit the function they were chosen for. It’s got ideas cranking in my head. I’ll have to do a little experimentation on making a pattern, but I’m sure I can come up with something.
If nothing else, there’s always making longies. I’ve noticed that longies on etsy can easily go for $40 a pair! That’s some pretty good money. If I take into consideration the cost of the ones I’m making for Krystal, I’d be able to make a $30 profit. If I can really crank them out and find enough business for a high demand, I could probably make close to $300 in profit every month! That’s $3600 per year! Granted, that isn’t much, but it would be enough to cover Oz’s child support payments every month. While I’m not planning to pay Oz’s child support for him, we’ve got to come up with the money we’ll be down from his paycheck somewhere. If I can manage to crank them out even faster than that, I’ll be able to make more of a profit. While it’s certainly not going to be enough to live on, it definitely makes up for some of the damage from me being a stay-at-home mom. Then again, if I can sell them as outfits, I can probably increase my profits from each "item" sold since I’ll be selling even more. I know hats and baby socks whip together pretty quickly, so it would all come down to how long sweaters and longies would take to make. I’ve found a pattern for a "five hour baby sweater" that I plan to modify to suit my own needs. Granted, the modif
ications will increase the labor time, but I don’t feel comfortable selling an exact replica of something someone else designed. Maybe that could make the difference between just getting by every month and having a little extra for savings. Who knows if it’s a realistic idea, but it’s worth trying for, right?
So this baby really has brought a lot of good into my life in more ways than the benefits of a larger family. I’m really happy about that and I’m very excited about all the positive potential my future holds. This next year is sure to be an interesting one!
And on a final note, it looks like it’s official! Oz is no longer married! He can plaster news about the baby all over the world now if he wants without risk of it causing him even more problems! It comes with the burden of him having to pay child support, but in reality, it’s such a huge relief!
~*~Rave~*~