An…Interesting…Party, to Say the Least…

The idea for the party was great.  Everyone would show up in Roman, Persian, or Gypsy historic dress.  It was supposed to represent a time gone by where you were to create a whole new persona for yourself and actually be someone else.  Best of all, there was only one hard and fast rule, no drama.

Of course, part of the interesting state of affairs when we arrived was due to being late.  The party had started at seven, but we didn’t arrive until three hours later.  By this point everyone was already drunk, at least those who had been drinking.  At least a few people had left.  This was favorable because Oz’s ex was just leaving at the point we arrived.  I was glad to be away from her and her new boyfriend, someone I had liked before, but now I have to question his sanity.  With them out of the way, I was sure I could relax and have a good time, at least, as much of a good time as could be had with watching two children.

Things seemed okay at first.  Oz took off and did his own thing, as he always does.  I got a chance to hang out with someone I haven’t seen much of since December or January.  It was really great getting to spend some time with her again.  Her baby is adorable!  I got to meet a few new faces, which was always nice.  It seemed like it would all be off to a good start.

I felt a little out of place being decked out head to toe in something approaching historically accurate Gypsy dress.  Everyone else was pretty much half-naked in togas or very revealing outfits.  I didn’t even have my belly bared!  I was beginning to wonder why I bothered to do more than pantaloons and a bra top, but it was okay because I felt more comfortable that way.  People were less likely to be staring at my body.  I could feel like I wasn’t on the meat market for once!  It was also kind of nice that Oz and I were the only people there that were anywhere near historically accurate.  I’d forgotten how adult parties are pretty much just an excuse to show off as much skin as possible to try and attract the attentions of the desired sex.  Being pregnant, I really wasn’t feeling up to that kind of energy.  Besides, most of the men there were gay anyways, so I didn’t get much attention to anyone who wasn’t adoring the baby belly.

Things were going okay.  I was feeling a little frustrated at being ditched with both the kids.  It quickly became clear that co-parenting at parties so both Oz and I can have fun just isn’t going to happen.  I constantly had to be on my toes to make sure Beekee wasn’t going to be run over or fall into the jacuzzi.  Seeing as I just don’t move that fast anymore, it pretty much meant I had to be on my feet, which very quickly started hurting.  At least there were a few other people around to talk to, so I didn’t have to go far.  Most people just said a few words and passed on through, but I wasn’t alone.  There were a couple people there that looked down their nose at me.  There was a girl in an orange belly dance costume from the place I teach dance that literally turned up her nose at me and looked away when I said hi to her.  I tried to start a conversation with her but her energy, body language, and attitude kept me away.  It was clear she wanted nothing to do with me.  However, most of the other people were incredibly nice.  I was starting to think I could genuinely like parties run by this group.  After all, one person may snub me, but that’s no reason I can’t hang out with the rest of the cool kids!

This is when the drama started.  It was all small at first.  I got word that there was something going on upstairs, but it was being handled.  I tried to pay it no mind, but it was kind of unavoidable when it became a screaming match in the back yard and people were being pushed around.  Apparently someone had said something to one of the guys about his girlfriend that was inappropriate.  He flipped out and started pushing the guy around asking why he would come to his house and disrespect his woman.  I kind of understand.  Talking about the host’s fiancee in an insulting way is kind of inappropriate, but it didn’t need to turn into a huge big argument.  More people than ever should have got up in this guy’s face and told him that this disrespectful friend was leaving and he just needed to drop it and cool off, but all that did was make it worse.  

One thing lead to another.  A few people left.  Oz packed up the kids in the car, but I was asked to make sure everyone outside was okay and things didn’t explode beyond that point.  There was blood on the floor from the guy busting his own tail light on his car.  One of the women was majorly freaking out.  He tried to make it better, only to have someone up in his face already blowing everything out of proportion.  Too many drunk people were in the room trying to handle it, but in reality they were just making a mess of things.  The whole thing was just a disaster.  While my gut instinct tried to tell me I could stop this, it wasn’t my place, and with people getting violent, I feared for the baby.  I had a good excuse.  Until Oz took the kids off, I had to mind Beekee.  This guy was someone Beekee’s gotten really attached to, so Beekee wanted me to help him.  Beekee wanted to make him feel better.  I just sat there and watched from a distance, hoping that no one would get hurt and trying to keep those who weren’t involved in their uninvolved state.

So outside I sat with two lovely men I didn’t know and one woman, the one in the orange belly dance costume.  The two men were talking about how this is why they don’t drink at parties.  People get drunk and stupid.  We just talked for a while about whatever crossed our minds, mostly the stupidity of people and how we would be glad when this was all over.  The woman, however, was pacing back and forth.  Those were people she cared about in there!  She wasn’t going to be okay until she knew everyone was happy!  She wouldn’t be okay until she knew the fiancee that got insulted was okay!  She couldn’t stand it!  She wanted to go in there and make sure everything was okay!  She needed to see what was going on!  She was very insistent that she had to be involved because it was people she cared about.  Excuse me?  The man bleeding was the person to take care of Oz and keep him out of trouble more times than he can count.  These were the only people to show up to Oz’s birthday party!  These are the only real friends Oz has.  Doesn’t that kind of make them important to me?  However, the situation was being handled and all more bodies in there would have done is add to the chaos.  Instead of listening, she just stormed off to sulk until everything was said and done.  I&nbs

p;didn’t like her for snubbing me before and these actions didn’t make me any more pleased.

When everything settled, I took some time to talk to the people involved.  I didn’t want to know what went on.  To be honest, I didn’t care!  It was none of my business who said what to whom.  The only thing I cared about is that everything was taken care of and we were back to life as usual.  We were planning to head out, so I wanted to make sure everyone was back to normal before I left, and then say my good-byes.  As it turned out, we decided to stay since everything had calmed down.

The guy who caused the trouble had left, and the host with the insulted fiancee came up to us and apologized for exposing my family to that kind of thing.  Beekee, who was all worried about him, gave him a sad look until he got hugs and cuddles.  The two ended up hanging out for quite some time.  Beekee even started smiling and laughing again as soon as he knew this guy was okay again.  No one else mattered in Beekee’s eyes.  The fiancee decided she was going to share a round of shots (non-alcoholic for me and another) with all the women present because she needed to get drunk after that.  Fittingly enough, the girl in the orange belly dance costume wasn’t there.  For being all about these people, she had gone off and continued to sulk.  Everyone worked themselves into a nice little calm and the party went on.

I should be fair in this.  The party didn’t go on for much longer.  There was already someone throwing up in the bathroom.  A couple people were so drunk they were falling all over themselves.  The woman that freaked out and her husband/boyfriend/whatever had decided to go home.  Some music was put on and a few of us were dancing.  The fiancee, the woman in the orange belly dance costume, and I were really the only ones who danced at all and the fiancee disappeared after not terribly long to entertain her guests or something.  Then I was left to get sour looks from this girl in the orange dress because some drunk guy was gawking at me.  It wasn’t because I was a good dancer or sexy or anything.  It’s just because he found the mama belly so incredibly beautiful.  As I was told several times that night, I was the perfect incarnation of the earth goddess.  I didn’t even care who was watching.  I was dancing for me and no one else.  I needed to work the negative energy out of my system, and sometimes that’s the best way to do it.

Not long after Oz found me saying he was tired and ready to go.  He told the girl in the orange costume that she should come to my dance classes.  I think he must have missed the look, but she just looked right at me and seemed to give one of those, "Sure…I’ll get right on that…" kind of looks.  We packed two tired and cranky, tired kids in the car and headed home.

As we drove, Oz and I talked about the night.  He was happy because he got to talk to so many people.  He was all over the place.  There were a few people he was glad to catch up with.  He drummed with one guy who was playing guitar.  He got to catch up with another guy he hadn’t seen in a while.  He finally got to find out why one of the hosts of the party wanted to see him so badly.  There were a lot of people he knew and was happy to see.

One of them was the girl in the orange dance costume.  I was having none of this and almost burst into tears when I started talking about how I didn’t like her and didn’t want him spending time with her because she was such a drama queen and didn’t so much as want to give me half a chance.  He started defending her.  She was on the phone with her husband for a good part of the night and there was drama going on there.  She really does care about those people.  He really liked hanging out with her.  Turns out the only reason he didn’t sleep with her before is because she was married.  Now he claims he has no interest, but it’s really starting to stress me out.  These female friends from his past all treat me poorly.  He has or has wanted to be involved with all of them.  These are not people I’m going to be able to trust him with.  I’m never going to feel comfortable around them, especially with the way they treat me.  Given he’s proven time and time again that he really can’t be trusted, I’m not sure how we’re going to deal with this.

Then there was one of the party hosts.  This happens to be a gay guy that Oz used to be involved with.  As it turns out, there’s a reason they wanted to see him.  There’s a reason they’ve been nice recently, and chances are it’s the reason they’ve been nice to me too.  I’ll be honest, as much as I told Oz I wouldn’t care if he had a boyfriend, I’m not ready to open this relationship up like that.  I’m not involved with anyone else, so it has the element of me feeling it’s unfair.  It’s bad enough I feel unattractive half the time because it’s not my body anymore.  The baby kind of has claim on it right now.  I’m being pushed and pulled into doing this or not doing that because I’m pregnant, so I feel like my life isn’t even my own.  Right now I don’t want him paying any attention to anyone but me.  I need to feel like I’m his only interest, on a physical, sexual, and emotional level.  I’m not saying he can’t have friends, but I don’t want him to be running off to screw around with anyone else right now, male or female!  Hell, half the time he doesn’t even want to be physical like that with me, so it would hurt even more that he’s decided he just isn’t interested in me anymore and he’d rather find some other playmate.  Then there’s the whole trust issue.  Yeah, it’ll start with this guy, but then what happens when this guy happens to be the excuse and I find out he’s been with someone else.  No, I can’t do that right now.  Thankfully, Oz doesn’t seem to be interested.

However, that whole night has brought up a lot of thoughts in my head.  There’s a lot on my mind.  There’s all the drama that these people who are supposedly without drama carry around like some badge of honor.  There’s the attitudes I get from women Oz is friends with and I can’t imagine why.  Perhaps it’s just that I’m his current girlfriend and they’re jealous.  It’s become pretty clear that any party where we bring the kids, I’m going to be expected to deal with them almost the entire time so Oz can flit off and be social.  When it comes to parties, I’m just going to be expected to fend for myself.  Apparently Oz spends enough time with me at home that he doesn’t feel the need to spend time with me when we’re out, even though I’d kind of like to meet the people he considers friends.  It would be nice if I felt at least a little included in his life outside of the house.  I’m sure it didn’t hel

p that he’d pretty much ignored me all day to play Magic with his friends.  I’m starting to think that maybe I should just send him to parties he wants to go to alone.  Maybe I should just find a different group to hang out with so I can go to my own parties and he can go to his and that will just be the end of it.  I just don’t know if we’ll ever be able to enjoy social engagements together, even if we have a sitter.  I just don’t know.  I had a good time, but I learned a lot from the experience.  I’m not sure I’ll bother going to the next party I’m invited to.  Maybe if I’m invited to go alone…

~*~Raven Night~*~