nine

How is August already almost half way over! It was just March I feel like. I know a lot of it has to do with all this COVID shit, but still. It’s made everything so uncertain. And the control-freak in me is anxious because of it. I’ve gotten a lot better with not being in control over the years, but when it’s going on this long it is just hard. And John and I still have jobs, so I can’t even imagine life for the people that don’t have jobs and need them. We’ve definitely been fortunate with that. Which is why I feel so bad for not wanting to work anymore. I’m sure we could make it work, but guilt is hard to get past (for me anyway).

So, I’ve been wanting to lose weight now for a while. It’s gotten bad (relatively speaking anyway, to past weight for myself). I’d been seeing these ads everywhere for a program called NOOM, but never really worked up the “want to” enough to do it. Now since it’s more like a “need to” I’ve at least gone ahead and signed up. I’ve been on it now for about two weeks and somehow I’ve lost 15 pounds! I mean, I’ve been eating better and getting off my ass so I’m sure that helps. But I still don’t feel like I’ve lost anything. I still feel super heavy and my breathing is still not full breaths. I still get winded like crazy. But I know Rome wasn’t built in a day (I really hate that cliché, but it’s at least appropriate here). And I didn’t put on all this weight in one day or night. It’s been a gradual increase ever since I got pregnant with my boys. So I’m at least going to try and keep it up. I actually highly recommend it, even if only for the psychological aspect of gaining self esteem.

Anyway (I need to get out of the habit of using that at the beginning of paragraphs…) I’ll end this here for now. Fingers crossed I keep the habit of writing this time!