The Gift I Will Present

My death comes soon
These are not my last words
But I’m getting close
To the waters
From which I came
So, please listen
As I fade away

The horror
Caged inside my head
This disease
Manifesting itself
As the Earth is bred
The memories that
Once occupied me
Have turned
Into nothing
But dust
That floats in the wind
And I
Can no longer strive
To put me together again

I wake up
Every day
To an imaginary setting and place
Until
Reality slaps me in the face
Unknown to who I am
Confused
As to where I am
Because
Yesterday
I thought
I lived somewhere else
And I thought
I was
Someone else

I can see
My tears
Dry up the stars
It is the beginning
To the end of
My universe
I can no longer
Dance with the stars
For gravity has
Manipulated me
In so many ways
I can no longer
See-through the fog
That clouds my past
And I just want to die
And be born again to a different place
In the sands of time

I don’t know
How I’ve survived
This long
I don’t know
How to turn
My greatest weakness
Into a strength
And
I don’t know
How much longer
I can live
Through all my hate
The agony
Living inside of me
The screams
Keep echoing inside my ears
I can’t tell if
It is the drums or my heart
Beating slower to
My Song of Death
I’m being killed
And erased
At the same pace

Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Slowly devour me
In the grave that
I dwell in
As I pass to the unknown
And start
The adventure
One last time
Everything is in black and white
As I photograph
The stars inside my head
Hoping to remember
The constellation
From which I came
So when I’m reborn
I’ll understand the code
That I hid
So no one
Can destroy the gift
I’m supposed to give

Samantha Josephine (=^‥^=) ♥♥♥

December 29, 2019

OMG. 🙁 🙁 🙁

8 replies

@sweetlittleappletun

Is everything okay?

December 30, 2019

@raphaeltiriel Your poem. 😮

Thanks! It is about the protagonist in the novel I am writing. This is an epic that I writing along with my novel to give an inside look at the nature of his character. Yes, it is sad. This character will face an extreme amount of suffering, but with a fantastic ending, especially the gift that he will give (the one he hid in the stars). I hope you enjoy more poetry, Jungian psychology, and/or astrology that I put on here. Thanks for like it!

@raphaeltiriel Well they no pain no gain eh?

Unfortunately, yes. To live is to suffer, but that doesn’t mean that suffering will always be. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of shit to change and other times not so much. I spent today writing a portion in my novel where the protagonist stares at the sunrise, and the sunrise triggers three flashbacks of his PTSD. I show what triggers each event and go to the flashback. Everything culminates until time reaches a Solar Eclipse 😉. There is more to the story than that just showing how I write in a different setting.

December 31, 2019

@raphaeltiriel I have PSTD. Ain’t fun. 🙁 That poor fella.

I have bipolar, anxiety, and PTSD. I am currently on SSDI. I do find this therapeutical though. It isn’t about my PTSD, but giving those words the life and meaning behind it all–creating awareness and understanding is my goal. There are many different meanings in the words in my text. I just found it beautiful the way that I expressed it.

@raphaeltiriel Aye so. 🙂