Life’s Path.

I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life recently. I mentioned this to a friend of mine and she said that I was only doing it because of the New Year and that I felt that I needed to do this. However, the truth is, I have been looking at my life since Lady Love and I broke up.

I am truly not happy with where I am right now.

Only I can change this. So I started to look at what I needed to do to become happy. And truth be told, what I saw scared me. Then I took a closer look at it all and saw that there were many many many small little steps to achieve what I want. All I have to do is take that first step and then the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next…and the next

And then I will finally be where I want to be…not where I have ended up, not looking at my life wondering why I am here and where I went wrong. What step did I miss to up on this path so far from where I want to be?

And no matter how unhappy I am with where I am right now, I know that somewhere, there is a plan (I guess) that has me right where I needed to be at the right time. If I was not there, then I would have never had my Son in my life.

My Son, my reason for wanting to become MORE than I am now. To be able to provide him the life that I wanted when I was a child. To never have to worry about wanting to go on a school trip because I was too afraid to ask my parents if we had the money so that I could go.

~Sometimes, we are where we need to be. We are not off track of what we envisioned our lives to be, but rather to show us what we need to do to get where we want to be.~
Rand al’Mawer, 2012