Time to Grow Up

One Day at a Time

Time to grow up.  Quit my whining.  Pity party is over.  Be a responsible adult.  Dreams are good, but they need to be realistic.  I need to live in the moment, in reality, not with my head in the clouds.  So I have to work a lot . . . that’s how I make my money.  I’m not an ultra marathoner (though I’ve had dreams of being one-nothing super fanciful, I mean I realize I won’t ever be a world class athlete, I mean I’m almost 30, it’s way too late for that; but I’d love to actually run ultra marathons, maybe run 50-100 miles a week some day).  I am just an average person who has a job and has to eek out some sort of a living.  Work is tops over running.  It’s also tops over any kind of a social life.  It has to be.  It’s a little depressing at first, but it’s life.  It’s called being grown up.  Ha.  Also, meetings are important.  I have my responsibilities to my group to take care of.  So, if work, meetings, and sleep (also important) crowds out running (or anything else I’d rather be doing) for a couple of days, then so be it.  I hate it, but running doesn’t pay the bills.  It is a little weight off my mind to be at peace with the prospect of "not running". I just have to accept it.  There may yet be time for more cycling in the coming two days but I will take it one day at a time . . . one moment at a time.

I think one of my big problems is I always have to feel some kind of a high. Ordinary life is just too mundane for me.  Also, my expectations of life are too high.  I’m so idealistic when it comes to romance, or something like my running.  I’m all in, or forget about it. Life isn’t like that.  There are ups and downs, but mostly everything is in between.  I need to learn how to enjoy the in between.  Not living FOR the moment exactly (this can be dangerous), but living IN the moment, yes.  Have you heard of the phrase, "Be still and know"? Meditation is the ultimate living IN the moment.  All you have is that moment. There’s nothing else.

My grandfather turned 87 today.  I’m hoping he lives to be a ripe old age.  There’s just something cool about seeing people live to be 90+ or even 100, as it’s rather rare.  Now granted, this is only a good thing assuming good health and all mental faculties are sustained.  Unfortunately he’s had some issues with cataracts on his eyes, which he had removed so he’s OK now.  Also, he went through a period of depression, but he seems to be doing better now.  He doesn’t play golf anymore. He used to play golf.  I wish he’d start playing golf again.  Being active is important.  Yet he does strenuous yard work.  That’s the kind of stuff he should leave off, for the sake of his health.  But golf, or walking, light activity should be good.

We don’t really have the longevity genes anywhere in my family, but his family was the closest to that.  I think his mother lived to be 92, which is not real old, but it’s well beyond average life expectancy.

I have to be up at 6 AM the next two mornings.  Got a lot on my mind with work and A.A. stuff coming up.  But I should go do the next right thing anyway and call him this evening, wish him a happy birthday.  I think I will.

-AR