If they only knew . . .

One Day at a Time

I now have a standing invitation to go out and party with my boss AND one of the assistant managers. They seem to think I have no life and could use a "good time". LOL, I guess that’s what they’re thinking, who knows. I told them I don’t drink. I’ve found that when I tell people that, they tend to assume that I’ve always been that way. These people think I don’t know how to party, LOL. If they only knew . . .

I told them I appreciate the invite and said nothing more, but in my mind I know I do not intend to take it. I am NOT going to drink, and it sure as hell ain’t fun to sit around and watch other people drink. No, I will NOT take them up on it. I’m confident in my sobriety. It’s not going to happen. I will not pick up a drink.

I guess I just wanted to bring this up, because I think it’s hilarious and rather ironic that people think I’m some overly pious person who doesn’t drink and has never partied or done anything crazy in his life. They just don’t know. They just don’t know how I partied for years, and it got me nowhere. It set me back . . . now I’m working with these goobers at a retail store instead of in a professional position where I belong. Sometimes I have tended to tell people that I "used to drink but I quit", but I’ve learned that brings up so many questions that I now simply say "I don’t drink". The former gets a lot of questions, the later gets people thinking you’re rather weird. Of course, the more I get to know people, I feel more comfortable telling them that I’m a recovering alcoholic. Many of my friends, family and personal acquaintances know this, no problem. Co-workers? Not so much.

I’ve made pretty good efforts at working out lately, some 2.3 mile runs, some 10 mile cycling rides. You know, every two or three days I’ve done this lately, but I haven’t been writing it in here. I’ve really started to lose touch with this diary, in a MASSIVE way. I’m not sure how I am to correct this. I’ve already missed so many workouts it would be tedious at best, ridiculous at worst, to try and go back and piece together all of the appropriate log entries. I guess I will just have to forgive myself and start logging in here again next time I work out (if that’s what I want to do, if not, then maybe I should just stick to paper logs like I’ve used the last couple of weeks), you know, and not worry about trying to "catch up" what I missed. I hate that, as I now feel my diary is somehow "incomplete" here in OD. Oh well. It’s incomplete anyway, because I haven’t been keeping up with "regular entries", so who cares?

I’ve notices some major weight gain recently so that’s what has really forced me back into the exercise. People think I’m crazy because I am still skinny, but I’m sorry, my fat doesn’t go to my face, arms, and legs, so I still look skinny, but it goes to my belly, and it’s gross. I want it gone. When I was running 30 miles a week I had NO belly fat . . . could hardly pinch any at all, lol. Now I’ve got a roll about 2 inches thick. Damn. As far as actual weight, I’m probably back up to 155 or 160, not sure. I was ~145 during most of my heavy running periods. I’m still not anywhere near 200, which was what I weighed before I quit drinking AND before I started running period.

They just opened up an Arby’s in the shopping center where I work. I used to eat Subway everyday for lunch, now I’m eating Arby’s. Bad, bad, bad. I’m going to get fat real fast eating roast beef, bacon cheddar this and that, curly fries of the most oily variety, mozzarella sticks, etc, etc, etc, and the portions are bigger than at Subway. And, fewer veggies, at least the menu items I tend to like. So, yes, it is of utmost importance that I run, cycle, lift weights, move, walk, whatever I can do. Whatever, whenever.

-AR