Distraction . . .

One Day at a Time

It’s amazing to see what former classmates are up to these days. With facebook, myspace, and other sites, it’s easy to find what people are up to. It’s interesting to see people I thought would never make anything of themselves have become so successful. Also, people I fully expected to do great things have done great things . . . military service, law school, medical school, recording artist, entrepreneur, etc. When I compare myself to them I feel like such a loser. I’m 29, still in my parent’s home (although I have not always been here, since graduating high school, a point I like to keep bringing up, makes it not seem quite so bad). I do have a college degree. Engineering. But nothing much to show for it, career wise. There are also those classmates who seem to have really let themselves go. Some physically . . . some of the once attractive young women are now massively overweight. Then again, some are just as beautiful as ever. Some classmates have clearly stepped off the deep end . . . into alcohol, drugs, riotous living . . . I mean, you can tell on facebook when someone does nothing but party all the time. It’s quite sad. I used to be like that. Although I was more of a lone drinker than a partier for most of my time "out there". If I compared myself to these people I’d have to say I’m very grateful to be sober today, to have a good relationship with my family, etc. I’m no longer wandering in the wilderness, as it were. At least, not emotionally, physically, or psychologically. Career wise, perhaps I still am. I don’t really know what I want to do. It’s just strange how we all ended up. But everything is always changing. The way things are now is not the way they will always be. I may be very successful, yet. Who knows. And some of these individual’s bad choices may catch up to them yet. Only time will tell. It’s too early to say well, he ended up like this, she ended up like that, and I ended up this way. Just interesting to see is all I’m saying.

I called work today because I’m super OCD and I wanted to make sure I don’t get in trouble. What happened was, I originally had Monday and Wednesday off. But my department manager changed my schedule to give me Wednesday and Thursday off. So I worked Monday. But, the schedule was never changed in the computer. So according to the system, I am still scheduled to work today. I wanted to check in with them to make sure they knew (I know the department manager would know, but he’s off today). You know, I just didn’t want it to bite me in the ass later on, and them accuse me of pulling a no-call no-show. My assistant manager wasn’t there when I called. Apparently she had to take leave due to a death in her family, which could, in part, explain why she never changed the schedule in the system. So, I talked to my zone manager (the level between department and assistant) and she said she would relay the message to other management and to the assistant whenever she came back. She seems to think I will be OK. I should, I mean I’m sure Larry (department manager) has my back, so to speak. He knows of the schedule change even if no one else does. I told my zone manager that I hoped to work my 1 – 10 PM shift tomorrow but that I was sick. She said if I felt better she’d see me tomorrow, if not, just to call in.

I haven’t mentioned . . . I shaved my beard last Friday. Just thought I’d like a change. It’s been weird. Clean shaven for the first time in 2 years. I got some pretty wild reactions from co-workers (and others). Mostly positive, only a couple negative. Some neutral. The ladies really seem to like it, LOL. Guys’ reactions are mostly neutral. It was getting quite long. I may grow it back, but hopefully it will be more even and less unruly than before since I’m getting a fresh, clean start with it. I’ve had a couple of people ask me if I was going to cut the hair next. I really don’t plan to. But you never know. I’m sure I eventually will. Eventually. I mean, I’m not going to grow it down to my waist, jeez.

A couple of things about shaving . . . I’ve always shaved my cheeks and neck. My "beard" has always been a goatee and mustache. So in that sense, shaving is nothing new for me. After I was done shaving, it looks funny. My face looks so small, my chin looks small. Short. It’s just that I’m used to seeing my face with this long beard on it. I’ll get used to it. Also, I have rediscovered the need for chapstick. I now carry some wherever I go. My mustache used to hang over my lips, but now my lips are clearly visible so I have to watch the dryness/chapping (is that a word?). Also, I’ve realized that I have a pretty great mouth . . . nice teeth. Ha, thanks to great dental work (not to nature). Honestly, the beard was too long and bushy. Why was I covering up such a sexy part of the body (lips, teeth, dimples)? I have a great smile now, LOL.

-AR

PS: I really AM sick. I feel like shit. Don’t let my writing fool you. It’s a nice distraction though . . . distract me from feeling so bad.