Confessions . . .

One Day at a Time

Confession #1: I only originally started writing in here almost three years ago because I was hoping my ex-girlfriend at the time would read me. Ha. (Incidentally, I think one reason I don’t write as much in here as I used to is that I’m over her, as completely as I’ll ever be, so who cares if she reads me or doesn’t? And if I don’t care then why do I write?)

Confession #2: I don’t EVER tip the stylist who cuts my hair (I never have, not even once). I didn’t years ago and I don’t now (first haircut in over 2 years this past Monday). Strangely enough . . . Great Clips has not gone up on their rates not one bit since my last haircut over two years ago. Was $12 then, is still $12 today.

Confession #3: Apparently, I can’t follow instructions. When I sent my hair off to Locks of Love, I just placed the braided (with tied ends) hair (about 10 inches long, but will be longer once the braids are taken out and it is smoothed out) into a box, along with the one sheet donation form, filled out of course. I realized later that the website specifies to place the hair inside a plastic (Ziploc) bag, and to place that into a padded envelope. I feel like a dumb ass now. I hope the hair doesn’t get too dusty and frizzy (or wet) during the journey, so as to render it unusable. I was in a hurry to get it off before the weekend, didn’t originally notice any specifications on the website (other than hair must be 10+ inches long and braided or tied on the ends). Silly me. Also, I don’t ship stuff very often, so I just did what made sense to me in the moment. Didn’t think about padding, envelope instead of box, plastic, etc.

People I know, especially people at work who have never seen me with short hair, are amazed at how I look with short hair. I get the double takes from the ladies, especially. And not just double takes. They just stand there and stare at me. Isn’t it amazing? LOL. I’m thinking, damn, stop looking at me with your mouth wide open, go somewhere, do something.

I thought I would be depressed a little, but I’m not at all. Yes, I do realize how long it took to grow that hair, and well, it’s gone now. If I ever want it back it will take a long time. But, short hair is practical, easier to deal with, and I’ve found that most chicks (at least the ones I know) like it better. Also, "they say" it’s easier to get a professional job with a clean cut image (for a guy anyway, obviously it’s accepted and even expected that women have long hair). I think this is generally true.

My friends, family, co workers, and potential employers aside, though, I think for random people, it doesn’t matter at all. I see many random people at work on a daily basis. A few of them have come around enough to know me but the vast majority I don’t know from Adam (so to speak). I met random people when I had long hair, and now I meet random people now that I have short hair. I don’t get a general vibe that I am treated any better by people with short hair or with long hair. I still have about the same percentage of rude people and friendly people as I did when I had long hair. I don’t think it matters. I once had a theory on that . . . that maybe certain people discriminated against guys with long hair and would treat me rudely, but the truth is, there are rude people no matter what my hair looks like. Silly me. It isn’t about ME. If someone is rude, it’s about THEM. They have the problem, not me. When will I learn this? I’ve always thought that when people talk shit about me or are rude to me it means something is wrong with me. What is it about me that they don’t like? Can I fix it? Or was I born this way and so I’m screwed? This thinking is silly. It’s like blaming the rape victim for the rape (because of how she was dressed or something). No, no, no. If you are rude to me, it isn’t because you dislike my hairstyle or you think I’m stupid, or ugly, or nerdy, or whatever. It’s you. You’re a dumb ass. You are self centered, impatient, ignorant, and you have no class. Perhaps you were abused as a child, or maybe you are just insecure. Still, it’s your problem, not mine.

Still too soon to say if I’m more confident in my appearance now that I have short hair. Perhaps a little. I still have things I’m not happy about though . . . redness/irritation, occasional acne (product help these things but it never completely goes away 100%). Also, my nose is too small, and I really would like to ditch the glasses (but laser surgery is too expensive and I have a stigmatism so bad that my eye doctor has told me that contacts would be difficult to keep in my eye due to the shape of my eye. Ears are too small too. This is more noticeable now that I have short hair.

I’m coming to grips with the premature graying. Graying certainly looks better on shorter hair than longer hair. I wish I had grown my hair out long before it started graying at all (when I was in my early 20’s), but it simply didn’t work out that way.

I do feel like a new man, just a little.  Twenty minute showers have become 10 minute showers.  So awesome not to have to mess with all the hair gels and oils.  No more tangles!  Also, as sad as it is that "hair" can hold a guy back in our society, the fact is now, I won’t have to worry about it.  If I am being held back it certainly won’t be because of my hair.

-AR

PS: It’s 4:30AM and this damn dog won’t stop barking . . . been barking one (loud) bark a second for oh, probably an hour now. Not a fan of dogs, guys, and this is why. Let me have a cat any day. Cat’s are so cool, man.  Hey, luckily I don’t have to sleep now.  I don’t go into work until 6PM Sunday evening!  6 – 11PM (34+ hours a week is considered full time, heh).

PPS: What am I going to do with all the hair ties, hair gels, and conditioners?  Wasted money?  I don’t need them anymore.

3PS: I hope people can still hear the music.  It hasn’t been working for me lately.  I think I need to reinstall flashplayer or something.  Also, I need to update it.  Same old songs for a while now.

4PS: I’ll change the picture when I make one, I guess.  Haven’t taken a pic of myself since the haircut.  Won’t look much different than older pics of myself with short hair though.

 

 

 

 

 

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