weekend recap

I ended up going to Uni at the last minute. Little and I made plans Wed/Thur for me to go down after I got off of work Friday afternoon. She’s continued to have a tough time with her roommate and the Sisters so I went down for moral support. Turned out my pledge-sister Star was coming too so we had a great time catching up and bonding all over again. She was always my favorite of my pledge-sisters. I’m so glad we’ve stayed in touch since we graduated.

I won’t lie though, there were tough moments when I really wanted to lay into some of the Sisters about their behavior regarding Little. It’s true she isn’t a Sister anymore but that’s no reason to turn into absolute bitches. I mean, that reflects poorly not only on them, but on our organization! It really disappointed me to see them shunning her when honestly most of them don’t even know the real reasons why she did leave. They think they know and that’s all they care about. It really makes me wonder how it looks to other students on campus that we act that coldly to someone who was one of our own. What must they think of our chapter? *shakes head*

I think I made my position very clear over the weekend though. I stayed in Little’s room with her and Star. I spent most of my time with Little. I skipped Big/Little ceremony to have dinner with her. Yeah, I’m pretty sure they all knew who’s side I would take in a fight. I did spend time with the Sisters though, especially the ones that I knew. Star and I attempted to go to a party that they were all heading out to last night but the cops were already there when we showed up. They left but we looked at each other and went "no WAY are we putting our careers on the line if something goes down here", turned around and left. We stopped by a TKE party to say hi to some friends we still have there (Star is dating another TKE at her grad school). I’m pretty sure the DD for TKE might have been hitting on us too which is flattering but really, no more underage people for this girl. LOL (I am pretty sure because at one point I dropped my phone in the DD car and he got it for me. Then when he took us back to the dorm, within 1-2 minutes he had turned around and come back saying he found a lighter in the car and did it belong to one of us. The TKE house is at least 5 minutes away. There was no way he could have gotten all the way there, parked, looked in the car, and come back in that short amount of time. But it was sweet that he’d looked since I’d already lost my phone once in that car LOL)

I talked to Star and Little about the situation with Isaac that has been bugging me this week. Star, because she is a communications major and I obviously need help getting Isaac to understand how I feel and where I stand on this issue (which she did a fantastic job helping me with btw!). Little, because she is also dating an Army guy though she and he have been together for almost 2 years. They started dating soon after he came home for R&R from one deployment and they are halfway through their second deployment together. She understands better than a lot of my other friends what kind of a situation that is and how tough it can be.

The basic premise that Star, Little, and I came up with for the conversation with Isaac about our relationship and where it’s headed is that I want to be something he looks forward to, not an obligation. If we stay together through the deployment I want to know that he’s as excited to call me as I am to see that funky foreign number pop up on my phone. If he’s not, if he doesn’t look forward to hearing my voice or getting my letters, then there’s no point in us being together. Really, it’s as simplified as that.

Star and her boyfriend wear commitment rings. They aren’t promise rings or wedding bands. They aren’t even committed to being together long-term. The whole point of them wearing the rings (as she explained it to me) is to show that they are committed to each that day and hopefully tomorrow. But that’s all. It just shows that they are in a committed relationship. It doesn’t mean that they are promising to stay together. Only that they want to be together. I’m wondering if something like that could help to explain to Isaac what I want. Because that’s basically WHAT I WANT! I don’t want some kind of guarantee that we’ll be together forever because honestly, 1) I don’t know if such a thing can really happen at all for me 2) I don’t know that Isaac is necessarily the guy I want to spend my life with. We haven’t been dating that long, seriously, but 5 months for me is a rarity. Most of my relationships implode within a month, 2 at the outside. For me to be dating a guy for 5 months is kind of a big deal. I don’t think he gets that. Am I madly in love with him, no. Do I love him, yes. Does he know, no. I don’t think he needs to know. Really at this point it’s not any of his business. He knows I care and that’s enough. I don’t expect him to be madly in love with me and ask me to spend my life with him, we are both too jaded for that kind of behavior I think. I just want to know that he is committed to trying and that he’s committed to every day that we are together. I don’t like that suddenly I feel as if I’m just a place-holder in his life until something else comes up. Yes, that is seriously how I started feeling after all of these awkward conversations we’ve had lately. It is not a very good feeling and it makes for a very cranky Mimi.

Hopefully at some point soon I’ll be able to have the conversation I’ve been trying to have and have it successfully!

I’m supposed to pick him up from drill today. He doesn’t expect to get done until later this afternoon.

I’m kind of starving and I still have more cleaning to do. I organized my dresser drawers, started on my jewelry box organizing (I need to find those chocolate box trays that I like. You can fit them into a small drawer and use the indentations as compartments for things like earrings and necklaces. Oddly, no one got me a box of chocolates this year for once. I don’t really want to buy one for myself, even on clearance, then I’d feel obligated to eat it lol) I put all my laundry in the hamper. Not sure yet if I’ll get to wash it today like I had hoped because my mom is doing laundry. I need to take out trash and make the bed and then I think I’ll call it a day as far as cleaning goes.

OH! And I got a new purse over the weekend….brace for it! It’s VERA BRADLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! *squee* I feel super girlie because I have a name brand bag! It looks a little like a diaper bag I won’t lie, it’s a big tote-purse but after having small purses that get all squished when I try to put all my stuff in them (I’m a big believer in be prepared. I have my ’emergency kit’ which contains ibuprofen, Pamprin, tampons, and a nail file. I also have gum, pens, a permanent marker, spare key, etc. Plus there are the days I take my Nook with me and I need space for t

hat. I’m also known for shoving drinks and snacks into my purses too.) Overall, I like it though. It has a enough small, inner pockets to keep my organized but it’s roomy enough for all the stuff I tend to carry with me. Best part? I only paid $32 for it and it was a $60 bag. Yay 50% off sales!! XD