we already knew i was cursed

Every time rain falls in my life it isn’t just a little drizzle or something.  It is a fawking hurricane that just keeps pounding at me, tearing everything apart and leaving devestation in its wake.  And the pattern has continued even though I haven’t been updating regularly…ok it’s part of why I have been so quiet.

Class has pretty much absorbed every waking minute of my time.  There is homework pretty much every night. and we had our first test this week which I’m holding onto for the moment.  I know of at least 2 problems I blew on but the rest of the test could still redeem it.  I feel like I did strongly on several problems.  We’ll see come Monday where I really stand.  I should be doing homework but I just have this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I’m trying to ignore it.

I got called up for jury duty today too.  Got my notice in the mail.  I have to see about not going since they’re calling me up in August which is of course just before I am supposed to go back to school.  Not even 10 days later.  *sigh*  So I have to fill out this little form and mail it in and hope they let me out of it.  Otherwise I’m pretty screwed.

And there is no news in my personal life, which has pretty much become non-existent since I’ve had to turn into a hermit and seclude myself from the rest of humanity in order to make sure I pass this stupid class.  B and I talk pretty much every day and sometimes multiple times in the same day, which actually doesn’t happen all that much usually so it always surprises me when it does.  Nothing between us has changed but I’ve been so busy lately that really I haven’t even had the time to think about it.  And when I do it all it does is make me sad so I try not to think about it much.  We haven’t seen each other in weeks which is partially my fault too, as much as people around me try to make it all his.  It’s not.  I have no real time to spend with anybody.  I’m pretty much unavailable from noon to 6pm because I’m driving to class, in class, then driving back.  Even if he came up one of the days I had class we’d be trapped in a car together for more than 2 hours and he’d be sitting waiting around in the lounge for me for 2 hours while I’m in class.  And on the 3 days that I’m not in class, he’s usually working and even if he wasn’t working I’d be up to my eyeballs in homework while he was here.  I’m poor company really.  And I don’t have money to go see him in my increasingly rare downtime.  So all around I’m just in a crappy situation.

I’m looking forward to my one night that will be all about me.  I made it to karoake finals.  If I win I get $500, 2nd gets $300, and 3rd gets $200.  I know I can take this and get the prize.  It’ll be right after my birthday too so I’m inviting a bunch of my friends to meet up with us and hang.  I’m really looking forward to going back to University, odd as that is.  And if anything else comes along to mess up my plans I will be beyond pissed off.  I will start taking heads off.  I will go on the warpath and not even God can save anyone that gets in my way.