squeeee

As warned, an entry about Isaac.

I talk about him a lot I know.  I can’t help it.  The guy is amazing.

He says the sweetest things, does the most romantic things.  He holds doors open for me, pays for nearly everything, does sweet little things for me.  He bought me rock candy while he was at training which doesn’t seem that amazing but he thought enough about me to actually bring me something back.  He asks how my day is, listens to my opinions, values my opinion!  If I say I don’t like something or don’t want to do something, he’ll rearrange everything.  If I don’t know what I want for dinner he’ll start listing stuff, never saying what he wants but just waiting until I pick something or I say "you pick".  I pick out a movie to rent and he just rents it.

He cuddles with me; he’s amazing in bed; he treats me like a princess.  He is thoughtful and kind and just one of the most amazing men I have ever met.  Is he perfect?  No, of course not.  He’s screwed up, he’s made mistakes but he tries to learn from them and not make them again and tries to be a better person because of them.  He has goals and dreams for his life. 

I’m wearing his dog-tags.  We’re officially together, not sure what we are or where it’s going but we’re both okay with it.  I’m not the rushing kind of girl and he is really not looking to rush into something either.

He told me today that he thinks I’m perfect, I’m sweet and smart and wise and caring and I make it look so simple and that while I have flaws I’m working to make myself a better person.  I have goals and am stable.  The fact that I let him be a gentleman and tell him the truth about what I think about him makes him feel like he’s on cloud nine just being around me.  

He was joking (maybe?) about how I was falling for him hook, line, and sinker last night and I told him that I was hooked but I wouldn’t fall for him.  He asked why not and I told him the truth.  I am still waiting for him to leave.  

A guy like him is so far above me in the grand scheme of things that it amazes me that he’s with me at all.  He’s incredibly handsome.  He’s funny and sweet and witty and charming.  He makes friends everywhere he goes.  

Then there’s me.  Cute, unassuming, a little shy, with a little too much curve for societies tastes these days, snarky, creative, and just over-all a non-entity.  Girls like me don’t end up with guys like him.  

I expect him to leave so I can’t fall for him.  

Sad but true.  Yup, no self-confidence here, at all.

So I think that’s part of what sparked the flood of gushing compliments today.  Helped by alcohol a little LOL

I’ll just keep doing what I do.  He’ll do what he does.  I guess we’ll see where it goes.

There are only 2 options: either we last or we don’t.

When broken down into the simple mechanics of it, it’s easier to handle the reality.

The reality is I’m still so busted up and scarred from Quinn that I don’t know if I can actually fall for anyone again.

Isaac certainly seems like someone worth falling for though.  If only we’d met sooner in life.  *sigh*

 

 

 

Xx