slump

I’m in a slump today.

I think it’s because it’s ‘that time of the month’ or at least it’s supposed to be and my body is certainly hating me like it is. Just waiting on the official start. I know, probably TMI for some readers but I’m honest and that’s honestly what’s going on.

I had a nice to-do list of things I wanted to get done today that need to get done before Saturday so I can enjoy my trip to the faire with Kay. That includes an ass-ton of laundry (U.S. not metric, sir, pretty sure my laundry weighs a good 3x more than your metric ass-ton of textbooks, haha, inside joke folks), cleaning up my tornado of accoutrements for work like my labcoats, my shoes, my pens/markers/badges, straightening up my bed and my dresser and my bookshelves, and a couple other minor details. I’m sure most can follow the reason I mention said to-do list is because nothing got done on it. I wanted to get up at 10am. 10am rolled around, looked at the clock, said fahk it and went back to bed. I ended up sleeping in until 1pm. I blame this on that cough/cold I’ve been battling for almost a week now. On the brightside, the cough is pretty much gone, the only thing remaining is the sniffles which I can live with. Hopefully those will be gone by tomorrow or Saturday too. I think today was a day my body said "Fahk you, I need my energy so we aren’t doing a Gd thing all day."

I have been completely unmotivated today on top of dealing with cramps. At least I’m not physically tired today like I have been all week. I got enough motivation to pick up my dirty clothes and at least get them all in the hamper and hang up my labcoat. I might take a stab at putting away my shoes soon and maybe making an attempt to clean off my dresser when I get up to pack my dinner for work. (Yay leftover pizza! No seriously, yay! I love leftover pizza, it’s about the only leftover that will taste BETTER upon reheating than it did when it was first delivered.)

Tonight I am pledged to go running when I get off work. I was supposed to do it this morning (part of getting up at 10am) but with my body going catatonic on me it didn’t happen so I have to run tonight. Why do I have to? Because I gained back all the weight I lost since I started running back in December. I’d managed to go from 170 to 165 a year ago (not from running, from a bout of severe illness that lasted several months) and then got all the way down to 155 by the start of the summer (from running). I quickly discovered that running in the heat was not so kosher for me so I ran only once a week or so. I put on 5lbs. Not a big deal. I would shed it again once it got cooler out and I started running regularly again. I gained back another 5lbs. Now I’m upset. Now I’m going to start running again regularly and watching what I eat. I don’t know where that extra 5lbs came from this time. I’m actually thinking it might be water weight since it is ‘that time of the month’ and I’ve been bloated and lethargic all week but haven’t eaten any more food than normal, or any worse food than normal. Nor have I been drinking a lot of soda. So I’m going to see about getting some water-pills today or tomorrow and seeing if that helps too. I hope it does otherwise I will be on a rampage for the next month to lose 10lbs instead of my original goal of 5 (ie losing the weight I gained back over the summer).

Oh and Kale messaged me this afternoon. ALL ON HIS OWN!! I know, shocker right? The guy got it in his head to say hi and tell me he was doing better from his cold and he made a smartass comment. It’s not a great text but it was certainly a surprise to me since he rarely ever acts on his own impulse in contacting people ‘just to contact them’. It was a text with no purpose other than to touch base with me. Cool huh? I guess I officially earned a rank on his totem pole or something. For those wondering, no he doesn’t have a rank on my totem pole because honestly, I don’t have one. I text whoever I want, whenever I want, whenever I have time to, for whatever reason I want. Yes there are people I contact more often than others, this doesn’t make them more important in my life, it just means they’re more convenient or more involved at that point in time. Take Kay for an example. She is on my front page, she’s my adopted sister. She is one of the top 10 most important people in my life, often she is in the top 5 (the ranking changes periodically within my family based on who is on my nerves). However I talk to her only about once a week to once a month. The lack of contact is not lack of love or rank, it’s lack of time on both our parts. I’m at work, she’s in class, I’m with friends, she’s with friends, that kind of non-synchronicity means we don’t talk often. But if sht went down, you’d better believe we’d have each other’s back.

So yeah. Don’t take my mentioning some people more than others or contacting some people more than others as an apparent ‘preference’ or something (yes I did have a noter saying something along those lines in regards to Kale a few entries back). It’s just that they are a more present presence in my life so I talk about them more often. Currently it’s been Kale because I’ve been so busy with work that by the time I have free-time, everyone else is either in bed, at work, or has plans. Kale doesn’t have a schedule and he can hang out at 11 at night without whining about being up for work in the morning. And he’s okay with making plans at the last minute to hang out and get dinner.

Okay. I’d write more because I have a ton more to say still but it’s time to get ready for work. *deep breath*

PS- The image at the top is how I feel right now. I’m at the part of the cycle where I’m starting to miss. So I’m hoping maybe that little saying is true and eventually that things will get better. Then there is the worry that if it’s a cycle it means I’ll have to keep doing it all over again and that just kind of pisses me off and makes me want to break the cycle. >=(

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