no more

I’ve been dying for the last few days.  Since Friday night.  I’m still sick.  I’ve lost about 5 pounds since Friday if that tells you something about how I’m feeling.  Well my horrible life doesn’t stop there unfortunately.  I was texting Quinn yesterday morning and he dropped a bomb on me.  He is dating someone.  He doesn’t even really like her or want to be with her.  He just doesn’t want to be alone.  And he thinks he may still be in love with his ex.  He doesn’t know any of his feelings anymore.  We basically fought all day yesterday.  He kept being an ass.  I mean, more so than even he usually is.  Even the several of his friends that I spoke with her are also my friends said this behavior isn’t normal for him and there is something deeper going on.  He said some pretty awful things to me and then just stopped talking to me.  He is trying to drive me away and I don’t know why.  Especially after promising that no matter what happened between us, if I wanted to be friends we would always be friends.  This isn’t like him at all.  And I don’t know which hurts more.  That he is doing this or that he is doing this just to drive me away.  i really haven’t felt up to doing much of anything.  I know now that I am fully depressed and there is no hiding it, no fighting it, no point in trying to deny it.  Everything in my life has fallen apart.  I just don’t feel like there is any point to my life anymore.