—lights in the country—

So I did my gingerbread house today.  It turned out pretty well, the pictures don’t do it justice really.  It also didn’t help that the first batch of frosting wouldn’t stiffen so the house kept trying to cave in.  ;p  Silly gingerbread.  I didn’t bake any cookies today though.  I spent a few hours running errands in the afternoon which made it tough to get everything else I needed to do done.  My mold required about 30 minutes each set and of course there was cooling time, can’t frost hot cookies.  : )

I’m going to wrap presents in a little while.  I don’t have much to wrap so it shouldn’t take very long.  But tomorrow I have to work and I might spend time with Sissy tonight after she gets off work at 9pm.  Don’t know what we’ll do since we’re both broker than a joke.  But oh well, she wants to hang out.  Which means maybe I’ll have to do presents tomorrow night after I get off.  :   It has to get done soon that’s all I know and I work closing Saturday and probably Sunday too.  I can’t believe Christmas is 5 days away.  Time has just flown by this year.  5 days til Christmas then 6 days until New Year’s…wow.  It’s so….wow.

And yet again it seems I will be ringing in the New Year solo mio.  I shouldn’t be alone though.  I will be with Joyce and most likely also Angel and Sissy and some of our other friends.  But it’s still not the same and everyone knows that.  : (  I don’t think I’ll be getting a kiss at midnight, how sad.  Still all lonely and lonesome.  All dressed up and set up to impress and I will be impressing people but I don’t like kissing strangers. haha.  So I guess it really depends on who I am impressing whether or not I’ll get a kiss.  Hrm…Now I feel sad…I guess I’m pretty tired of being alone.  After a while it drags on you.  And you do that whole questioning of your self-worth spiral which just makes you feel even more miserable because you feel even less valuable as a person.  After all, everyone around you gets to be happy and in love, why not you?  But you don’t get that because you’re not pretty enough, or tall enough, or a size 0, your hair isn’t blond and you aren’t a slut, and you don’t wear slutty clothes….

Bitter?  Cynical?  Who me?  Never.