life or something like it

Isaac and I texted some yesterday.  It wasn’t much but it was some.  It was also normal conversation.  Mostly it was him venting/explaining.  He admitted to me that he’s nervous about this deployment more than the others.  They are possibly (again) changing his job-spec.  He intimated that he’s about ready to lose his cool and start yelling at people and that takes a lot for him.

Are things okay between us?  I don’t know.  I guess.  I’m still just sort of here, sort of hanging on.  He acted like everything was normal so I’m going to go on acting like it is too.  I don’t know that it isn’t.  I made a promise to be there for him while he was gone and not do anything to hurt him until he said that we were over.  While I’ve been tempted the last few days to do something stupid, I haven’t and I won’t.  While I might be really confused about what’s going on with Isaac, I’m not confused about the fact that I still love him.  If he’s going to act normal and like nothing is wrong I will too.  Back-burner until otherwise noted.

Girls have hormones and we act like crazy bitches for 1 week of the month.  I guess guys are entitled to some time to be assholes too.  They have a penis, I guess that kind of implies that they have the ability at least, whether they use it or not.   (Sorry male readers, I still love you)

As far as the rest of the mess… it’s still there, still bothering me but I’m tired of dealing with it.  I’m thinking of skipping my next PTC prep class only because I’m so stress and so depressed that I’m having a hard time getting through the pre-work for it.  But what I’ve seen of the pre-work is almost all stuff that I’m familiar with.  I might go over the chapters that I know I need more work with and still go to the class.  We’ll see.  I still need to check my schedule for next week and make sure that I’m off in time for the class.  I lost both copies that the manager gave me of next week’s schedule somehow.

I also plan to go and work out tonight eventually.  I am worried about going when it’s really busy because I want the low-impact machines.  My ankle is killing me after the time on the treadmill the other night.  We’ll see how that goes.  I’ve got to run errands too so maybe I’ll get that done before I  head to the gym.