learning**

Yesterday Isaac and I had a heart to heart, thanks to much needed and much appreciated prodding from my Georgie (seriously what would I do without this chick?). I went over to Isaac’s and confronted him about his behavior. I also sat down and explained to him in no uncertian terms that I have very few hair-trigger gut instinct reactions but someone suddenly disappearing is one of the few things in this world that I have a learned response to fear and freak out over thanks to my severe trust and abandonment issues.

He deals with internal and sometimes external conflict by withdrawing completely. That behavior with no forewarning had a very bad reaction from me.

Now some readers might be skeptical and wonder if he is hiding something else from me. I have severe doubts about simply because his father confirmed that Isaac is aloof and withdraws when he is upset about something. This sort of behavior is the norm for him. He will disappear for a day or two and no one will be able to find him. Then he shows back up and life goes on.

This was obviously one of those moments where we are reminded that while we are close and know a lot about each other, we are still learning. There are still habits and mannerisms that we are not familiar with or haven’t encountered. I have seen him get mad and lose his temper but I had not really had him be this kind of upset about something.

So that’s what’s been happening with me in the last few days. Life is back to normal, he’s back in Indiana or at least en route. I didn’t see much of him but I’m dealing.

It’s life.

Okay so what happened was I ended up having a heart to heart with Isaac’s dad Tuesday morning before work which was when I discovered a) that Isaac was MIA and b) that it’s normal for him to be MIA if he’s upset about something.

Isaac’s parents and I have always been sort of awkward around each other, as it turns out mostly it was that neither of us knew how to approach the other.  Having an hour-long conversation with his father was weird but also sort of enlightening for both of us.  He learned things about his son that he didn’t know and I got a better insight into Isaac.  We actually hugged.  And Isaac was shocked by it more than anything because his family is not about PDA and I can’t remember ever really seeing them hug.  

I also think Isaac is still going through an "MIA" mental phase so I’m going to give him some space.  I texted him a little tonight, I wanted to find out what his parents favorite restaurant is.  I’m thinking about getting them a gift card so they can go out to dinner and have a date-night.  Isaac doesn’t know so I’m asking Dos instead.  But then he sort of abruptly said "Sleep tight" and ended the conversation.  I don’t think he’s still upset with me particularly because otherwise he could have just said "goodnight" like a normal person but instead he ended with our normal "sleep tight/sweet dreams" routine.  I’m not going to push because after our talk I have the impression he’s still dealing with issues and not talking about them with me (because he didn’t really talk with me about them last night either).  He’s very quiet about things that are bothering him and I’m not going to expect him to suddenly do a 180 on how he behaves, expecting him to open up to me about everything suddenly.

His dad said that he’s always been kind of aloof like that.

Isaac has never really been aloof that I realized but now I’m starting to wonder if he is being aloof just by not admitting that something is bothering him and if that’s the case then him not talking to me about it is not unusual and so I can’t be upset about it.  It’s complicated I guess.  All the same.  I’ll give it time to get back to normal, let him sort out his issues and deal with training and all of that nonsense.  Maybe by the weekend he’ll be feeling more like himself.

I’ll be enjoying the pool and working on my own things, like normal.

Life, what can you do?