keep going
I found something to occupy my time with. More on that later.
I still haven’t heard from Isaac. Yep, it’s been a few days, he’s managed to find time to goof around on Facebook but not answer me, not contact me, not do anything involving me. Yeah, that hurts. A lot. I’m managing and the people who know us, most of them are on my side because they see him on Fb and ask if I got to talk to him. When they find out I STILL haven’t heard from him, they get upset on my behalf. It makes things a little easier to know I’m not the only person who finds that fact pretty screwed up.
I have sorted out most of the school stuff. I got money from my family to put a down payment on the tuition for the fall, put my books on my credit card (ouch ouch OUCH) and did the paperwork for the Stafford loan. Now I have to go pick up my books, make sure the paperwork gets through on my admission to my loan-holders so that it can process through and I can not worry about that particular $300 in the month of September at least. It’s a waiting game on my loan whether I’ll get it and even then it is likely to just end up being a reimbursement to my family after the fact. *sigh* Baby steps. I’m already keeping my own on the local Uni for the Biochem class so that I can enroll in that for the spring (or else take more b.s. classes to buy time on my loans which I’d really like to avoid). I’m going to start looking for scholarships and such for that too and for pharmacy school. I’m still studying for the PCAT and it’s killing me how much I’m sucking at it. Bio and English, no problem, chemistry=epic fail. Now I’m just waiting for my official last day at the store (probably going to be 8/20 but I’ll have to confirm with them, might do that tomorrow before work), school starts on the 8/22.
I am volunteering again in October, this time with Tough Mudder. For those who’ve not heard of it, follow this link to find out more. It’s really cool and I’m super excited to go for the weekend. I’m going to ask off the time tomorrow when I go into the pharmacy because by then I will exclusively be a technician and I’ll need to make sure I get off WAY in advance for that. Also for the ren fest in September, gotta remember that too. My volunteering got 2 of my sisters to volunteer too. I already emailed TM to see if camping is an option because volunteers have to be on site at 0630 and 0700 on the days of the events and it’s going to be about a 2 and 1/2 hour drive for me to get to the event already. I’m excited. And the best part? They raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project! I’m hoping that even though I’m not a participant I can set up a team with the girls and we can raise money too. If so I expect my faithful readers to help me out!!
I know, some people are sitting there going "you aren’t really coping with how you feel about your life right now". You’re damned right I’m not!! I’m fucking tired of having to cope so I’m telling those problems to go jump off a bridge until I’m ready to fucking cope, even if that’s never. Maybe I’ll never be ready to cope with the fact that I made another fucking mistake in my love life, coping with the fact that the reality is I am never going to find a guy in this world who will actually fucking FIGHT FOR ME!!! I love me, but dammit I deserve to find someone else in this world who loves me JUST as much as I do, someone who wants me, who needs me, who fights for me. I don’t think it’s asking too much but apparently the rest of the world thinks it is. So you know what? Fuck them.
