its the wheel of the world

So I haven’t really talked to B in a few days, since Friday afternoon.  I tried texting him Saturday after I got off work but he was at work so I said I’d let him stay focused on that.  He’s signed on briefly now and then but only for a minute and then he signs back off.  :   I’m not saying I care yet but it is a bit of a concern that maybe I did something to upset him and that I don’t know about it.  I joked with him a bit about how he verges on clingy being that we talk almost every day but when he asked if I minded I said no because it isn’t as big a deal since we hardly see each other living so far apart.  But I think maybe he made something out of the comment.  I don’t really know though.

Master has asked about him.  I’ve told him about B but I haven’t told B about Master.  I don’t think I will either.  Not that I’m embarrassed or ashamed or anything but I don’t want to see that look on B’s face that people get sometimes when you say something that weirds them out slightly.  I genuinely like B, I like being around him, I like his laugh, his sense of humor.  I like talking to him and getting to know him.  I know he’s probably not looking for another friend but if nothing else were to come of this I’d enjoy that.  I wouldn’t be completely satisfied because lord-knows there have been times I’ve looked at him and just wanted him to rip my clothes off, throw me on the bed and……RAWR!!!  LOL  I know I’m so bad sometimes.  But eh.  Don’t know yet if that’s B’s style so I’ve been waiting it out. 

Now I’m wondering if I did something to make it so I’ll never find out, which kind of upsets me because B and I have had such a great connection so far.  But I’ll be patient and see if I can’t wait out whatever the heck this is.  For all I know this is his response to me saying he was being clingy or something.  Or maybe his ex showed back up in the picture. …  He mentioned that she’s been dropping lots of hints that she wants to be with him but he was kind of scoffing at them as he pretty much hates her guts now.  But things change.  I mean if you love someone once it’s hard to not be in love with them I think.  I don’t know, I’m being paranoid as always.

I think I’ll go clean house a bit.  My room at home always manages to get so messy while I’m gone, I don’t know how. 😛  Clean for a bit, eat something, waiting for Angel to get back to me, maybe I’ll go hang out with her a bit this evening since I don’t work til 6pm tomorrow. 

*luv ya bunches*