cutting it close

Dawn’s wedding is a week away.  I still have to finish her garter.  I still need to get my nails done.  

I just finished putting all my bills in order for this paycheck.  After paying everything I have $131 to my name.  I still have my phone bill to pay but that one will have to wait and I’ll have to hope I have enough to take it out of my rent paycheck in 2 weeks.  It’s not that I’m making less.  It’s just where the paychecks are falling as opposed to when bills are due.  August is a 3 paycheck month though so hopefully that will right things again (they’re off because of the 3 paychecks in March).  I’ll have to pay for my hair next Saturday too when it gets all done up.  Ugh.

It’s been one of those…odd sort of months.  People around me are either getting their lives together or watching them fall apart.  And frankly I don’t know how to react these days.  A lot of that is me.  

My aunt commented to me while she was up a few weeks ago that I seemed to have done a lot of growing up.  I feel older these days but not more grown up.  I mean, I’m lazy a lot these days (granted a lot of the last 2 weeks have been me trying to get back on schedule what with everyone messing with my days off thus my sleep schedule thus I had 2 24+ hour days in 2 weeks.  Yay insomnia).  This is actually the first day I’ve managed to drag myself out of bed before it’s time to get ready for work.  I hope this is a good sign.  But my sleep schedule is going to get whacked again because I’m working a different shift on Monday to be off Friday for the wedding.  So I’m working today, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, off Tuesday and Wednesday, work Thursday then off Friday and Saturday then go back to work Sunday.  It’s odd and helpful to work nights at the same time.  Odd in that I go in one day and leave the next then come back in that same night lol.  Helpful in that even if I "stay out late" on my day off (lol) I am still essentially on my normal schedule.  It throws me off to be up while it’s daylight.

My attitude seems to have changed a lot and I don’t know if that’s the new job or just the fact that for the first time in a while I’m not suffocating under my family.  My aunt said I’m a lot more patient, I’m quieter about expressing my anger/frustration.  (This I take with a grain of salt because Harrison will tell you I still have a temper.)  I’m also a lot more…independent(?) because of my schedule and so many people not respecting that I don’t function during the day anymore and that I can’t come out at night on the weekends because I’m working.  And the fact that I resent having to drive an hour on their whim (everyone I know really still lives in the Burg except for Dawn) when they won’t do the same courtesy for me.  I need to make friends up here but I don’t do anything outside of work.  Most people my age go out on the weekends and do things…oh yeah I work while everyone is out having fun.

Eh.  This is turning into a long ramble with no point so I’m going to go and play some SW:KOTOR before I have to get ready for work.