brownies!

I’m making brownies, they are baking as I write this. Then I will frost them and enjoy. I ham having a sweettooth craving like mad today!

So last night I ended up back at Doug’s. It was pretty much a repeat of Saturday night. We watched movies. We tried to behave for most of the night. I got there around 11pm, we didn’t really start doing anything until 2am maybe. Partly because he did express some trepidation about Saturday night. I’m the first girl he’s been at all intimate with since he and his ex broke up in November so he’s not sure how he feels about the whole situation. I told him flat-out that I’m not trying to pursue anything. I enjoy hanging out with him and really that’s all I’m interested in. Not sure what’s up with it but I’m okay with it. I’m enjoying the company and the limited intimacy with no strings. It works for me. We both know there is a line and we are both unwilling to cross it physically speaking.

I enjoy kissing and touching, I always have. I’m a passionate person and that’s part of it.

Oddly enough the whole kissing thing started again because of his smoking habit. He had a cigarette and he wanted to smoke it but didn’t want to at the same time. So I told him I would distract him if he wanted. And it started. It went a little farther last night than it did Saturday but still not so far that I’ll be uncomfortable or anything. It maybe be a little weird to work with him tomorrow night though, not going to lie. But not because I regret what happened but more because we got pretty heavy last night. That’s the kind of stuff that might make a girl blush when she thinks about it while looking at the guy in public. Just saying.

My vow of celibacy still technically stands. I’m planning for it to continue to stand for a while yet.

It’s hard. I’m so used to leaping without really thinking about the landing. And leaping is fun don’t get me wrong. I always have fun when I leap which probably why I have kept leaping all these years in spite of the landing that leaves me with skidmarks on my ass and a bunch of scars on my heart. I’m trying to be more conscious of the landings now as opposed to the leapings. Doesn’t help that leaping is still fun. But really? I’m getting too old for leaping and just hoping that the landing isn’t going to kill me. The landings hurt like hell.

It’s nice to sleep next to someone again too. Now if only we could manage to do the sleeping part before the sun came up. >_<

Okay then. Nothing much else to write about for the moment and my brownies are probably done. Peace ya’ll