broken day 10 & 1/2

Work sucked. I’ve had a headache all day from my stupid sinuses. Of course I’m so stressed that now I’ll get sick, story of my fricking life.

And today one of my managers couldn’t seem to stop commenting on how I’m losing weight. Normally a good thing, right now it’s pissing me off. I’m not losing weight. I haven’t lost a single pound in a week but I keep looking like I am. Which makes me feel like sh*t because it means I’m starting to look like hell. I hardly eat, I barely sleep, I run myself into exhaustion every day because it’s the only way I can get any sleep at night.

Every time I see something or do something or go somewhere I’m reminded of him. The only time I don’t have this hearbreaking feeling crippling me is when I’m tunnel-visioned into something, like at work or working on my guitar lessons. But even then something will happen, someone will say something and I’ll be right back in all that pain.

I just want to curl up and sleep until everything is better. Can I hibernate for the next year?