broekn, month 2

So the whole Christian thing I talked about last is one huge fricking mess. We ended up hooking up again this past Friday night but things didn’t go all that far, a little oral and that was it. He told me how I was all over Dos and that’s why he’d never done or said anything, he again genuinely seemed to care about what I thought and felt. But we had a couple of friends trying to cock-block and no lie, one of them was doing at for at least partly selfish reasons (he wanted to hook up with me). But he has my number now not that I think anything will happen with it. Last night we were all hanging out again and Christian barely even looked at me, much less spoke to me. I’m royally pissed. I don’t even care if all it is between us is sex, at this point I’d be okay with it. But seriously! Don’t get all physical and act like you care then fricking ignore me and not even try to be just my friend the next night. I mean come on! I’m not asking you to fricking date me. The hook up was what it was. I enjoyed it, I would have been okay with it going further or even just repeating. I don’t care if you aren’t interested in dating, if all you want to do is ‘F*** my brains out right now" that’s fine, but don’t be a complete @ss the next day like you are ashamed that something happened between us, way to make a girl feel good. >=

So yeah my first attempt to even have a purely physical relationship blew up in my face. Screw trying to have an emotional relationship at any point in the future. I’m not dealing with that bullshit anymore.

I took Quinn’s pictures down today. And of course story of my life as soon as I did he started IMing me out of nowhere. FML!!!

I’m ready just to curl up and die from how stupid my life becomes every time I turn around.