blaaaaaaah

It’s Thursday.  You think I’d be slightly more excited.  I get paid tomorrow.  I see Isaac tonight.  I saw Isaac last night too.  But I’m just sooooooo tired.  I can’t find the energy to get out of bed and do stuff.  I need to finish laundry.  I need to get food.  That might be all I accomplish before work today at the rate I’m going lol.

Yeah, saw Isaac last night.  We were supposed to watch a movie and eat pumpkin pie (we both LOOOOOVE pumpkin pie and I didn’t really get any over Thanksgiving because my family ate it all while I wasn’t looking).  Instead we ended up driving around looking at Christmas lights for a little while and then me and him and Dos went and walked around downtown.  Dos brought his camera and took pictures.  Isaac took pictures too on his Iphone which is actually a pretty nice little camera.  There’s one of me that they took that I’m going to have to see about stealing.  I was leaning up against one of the trees waiting for them.  All the trees have lights wrapped around the trunk.  Yeah.  It was pretty cute so I’ll have to see if I can steal it.

Last night we had a semi-serious discussion.  So I had a moment the other night (thank you Victoria’s Secret fashion show) where I pretty much lost ALL self-confidence.  It’s hard to keep any kind of confidence you have when you watch that show for an hour.  If you don’t have much to begin with, well.  It happens faster.  So I was on a ‘thank you’ spree and I thanked him again for my phone, I thanked him for being wonderful and sweet and etc.  And I thanked him for picking me.  Which started him on a semi-serious tirade about how he doesn’t want the trophy, he wants someone sweet and smart and funny, not just beautiful.  I’ve heard it before from him when I’ve gotten down on myself.  He says I’m even more beautiful because I’m not just pretty to look at, I’m beautiful inside where it counts most.  (not his wording, don’t get all ‘awwww’ on me folks lol.  When he says it, it’s much more wordy and long-winded.)  Then afterwards he said ‘thank you for picking me too’.  He admits he’s made mistakes and he’s not perfect.  For a while he was down on himself, thinking he didn’t deserve anything because he screwed up so much (this was just after the first divorce).  But after being with his second wife he’s realized he deserves to be happy.

He’s excited because he gets to see his older son this month.  It’ll only be for an hour or so but he’s still excited and that makes me happy for him.  I wish he got to spend more time with his sons and they didn’t live so far away.  He seems like he would be a really great dad.  He still has his older son’s first teddy bear.  He talks all the time about buying them presents.

Speaking of presents!  I’ve almost finished my Christmas shopping.  Okay, technically I have finished because my family is pretty much done.  I only have to get something for my god-sister/cousin (my cousin’s daughter who is my mother’s god-daughter, so she is my second cousin and my god-sister) who may or may not be coming up for Christmas.  I’m waiting to see if she will be coming up but the other thing is that if they come up it won’t be until probably after Christmas anyway so I still have time to shop for her.  Don’t know if I’d get her father anything (long story, don’t ask) but if she came up he’d be coming up too.  *grumpy-face*  We’ll see.  But other than her and maybe him, the family is done.  That just leaves Isaac.  But I also want to get something for his parents because they’ve been very nice to me (even if they were trying to get us to stop dating at first, they’ve always been nice to me) but if I get his parents something I’ll want to get his brothers something too and there’s 3 of them and I have no idea what to get for 2 of them.  Dos is pretty easy to shop for.  Artsy stuff or a gift card for an artsy place would probably be fine.  But see, I don’t interact much with the other 2 brothers so maybe I could squeak buy just getting them Visa giftcards if I got them anything.  We’ll see.

I can’t believe it’s been two months that we’ve been dating….weird, doesn’t seem that long.

~*~*~*It’s’ been 2 years.  RIP Nick.  We still miss you.*~*~*~

And as if I don’t deal with enough I’m having cramps like crazy!!! UGH, someone please take my uterus!!!  It’s not like I’m using the stupid thing!  *grumpy-face*  I guess no nookie for this girl for a few days.  Oh well.  I will still get snuggles and a movie and pie tonight so I guess I will have to be content with that.  All the same.  I will be grumpy about the sex-hiatus.  LoL.  Oddly Isaac and I had a discussion a while back talking about how he wanted to cuddle more than have sex one night and he sometimes worried if I was getting enough sex for my liking.  I told him that the truth is to me they are almost interchangeable.  It’s mostly true.  To me sex isn’t about the sex as much as it is the intimacy and sometimes you can achieve a better level of intimacy with your clothes on lol.  I’m quite content with cuddling endlessly if sex is not on the table for some reason.  Sometimes cuddling is even better than sex, like after a rough day when you just want to be held.

I think part of this conversation was spurred by discussions we’ve had in the past about me and Quinn and our sex life.  Yes, we discuss our past sex-lives.  It was one of those 20-question type conversations while trying to get to know each other better.  The truth is Quinn and I had sex a lot, multiple times in a night, in 24 hours we’d have sex anywhere from 5-10 times, easily.  Obviously, great sex was not enough for our relationship to last.  Sex with Isaac so far has been 3-4 times tops.  It’s okay though because I still enjoy it, my hormones aren’t out of control with lust.  And we have intimacy outside of sex which Quinn and I were really starting to lack towards the end of our relationship, which was about the same time we started have sex more and more often.  I don’t know which of us was trying to replace one with the other.  Maybe it was mutual.

Oh well.

Rambling.  Walking away now lol

Xx