and it keeps going
Life has sort of resumed. Or at least it seems that way.
The last week has been really hard on me. I’ve had issues focusing and getting work done. I know part of it is Chris’s death because I really liked the guy but part of it is also just the end of the semester drawing closer. And it hasn’t helped that Angel has been pretty much co-dependent on me up until this weekend. This weekend she started finding out just how much Chris kept from her and it has helped her to let go of some of the sadness. It’s probably not healthy that she’s annoyed/pissed instead but hey, it’s still an improvement that she can function again.
Hunter and I are ok. He has definitely been a rock for me, along with all my sisters. If it weren’t for them I’d probably have become a lot more of a mess. Monday alone was a nightmare. I had a flat tire which made me miss 2 classes, then I failed a test and then I found out about Chris, then the next day I started my period and later that week I failed a quiz. It was not an easy week.
Hunter has still not figured out what he wants but I know part of his trepidation is gone. I attended church this weekend and that has gone a long way I think to helping him. It also went a long way to helping me. I have actually started praying again on a semi-regular basis. And if nothing else it helps me feel a little better. But the other thing with Hunter is that he doesn’t feel he has the time for a romantic relationship because of his classes, his internship, and his other obligations (ie; group leader in campus ministry). So I’m playing the subtlety card (yes I can be subtle!!) and just spending a lot of time with him where I am just there, such as studying while he works on papers and stuff. I figure if I can sneak up on him the fact that we spend an inordinate amount of time together and he still gets all of his work done and so do I and nothing negative (or supremely negative) comes about from us being together and then point out to him that this is exactly what it would be like if we were dating then maybe he’ll stop being all….whatever.
Hunter’s real problem is he thinks too much. He over-analyzes everything and just needs to loosen up.
And it’s ok with me because I love spending time with him and when he’s with me he isn’t really all that serious. I never see him being serious unless I provoke it. He makes me laugh and I have fun with him and he respects me. He is soooo different from what I am usually attracted to in a guy. It’s just….I can’t even begin to explain it. Haha.
Anyway, time to go and get some work done. I have a ceremony at 10pm. It kind of sucks but hopefully I’ll get some free stuff too. Yay for senior passdowns! : )
~*~*~Blessed Be~*~*~
