All or Nothing at All

So lately I feel like either I’m swinging at one extreme or another in life.  Momster is either giddy with joy and good will or she’s a psycho bitch.  Yesterday she was giddy, last night was psycho bitch.  I went from having a decent life to a shitty one all over again in 60 seconds.  Then of course this morning she’s back to being just this side of giddy all over again.  I am seriously stuck on a rollercoaster and I can’t get off.  I swear, I’m going to move out and when I do I am cutting all ties with her.  People think I’m joking or over-reacting.  But after 24 years of this bullshit, I’m tired of it.  I’m tired of her doing everything to make me feel worthless and useless and like I’m a horrible human being.  I’m not.  I know I’m not.  I do stupid things, yes.  Sometimes I’m thoughtless, guilty.  But everyone has moments like that.  I’m also kind to people who need it, I help people who are in need, I am there for my friends and family.   It’s just not fair that she can make me feel like I’m some kind of parasite or something.  Ugh.

Xx