No cover

Healing is a slow process.  I’ve made a lot of progress but I’m really eager just to feel 100%. I ended up spending ten days in the clinic and we went back down to Philadelphia last week for a follow-up.  The good news is that everything is going as planned and it feels really good to have a body that matches the rest of me.  For years now I haven’t doubted that I’m female, but it’s great to finally have a completely female body.

The next big step of course is to have vaginal sex with Guy.  Haven’t felt ready for that yet because things are still healing and feeling a little sore.  I have been experimenting with masturbation lately and although I haven’t yet been able to make myself have an orgasm, I’m exciting that I have been able to give myself pleasure.

The weirdest part of all of this is everyone asking to see my vagina.  I never imagined so many people would be shameless enough to ask to see it.  I haven’t shown myself off to anyone other than Guy yet.  I’m still healing.  People don’t want to see that.  Frankly, it’s kind of gross down there right now.

I started going back to school two weeks after the surgery.  It was a little bit of a challenge to catch up but I think I pulled it off.  It was easier because I wasn’t going to work until last Monday.  Now I’m back to my full schedule and I feel like normal life as resumed.  Cindy called me in the middle of the night last week to complain about something between her and Jayson and I realized at that moment that I was back normal.  My family had stopped treating me like I was someone recovering from a major surgery and has started just treating me like Rachel again.  I like that.

I’m looking forward to getting back to lifeguarding and not having to wear shorts over my suit to cover up.