More normal

The baby turns 1 tomorrow.  I know this is what everyone says, but it’s hard to believe it’s been a year already.  And now her second child is due in May.  It raises a question that I, even with all my normal obsessive planning, hadn’t thought about until recently.  Four adults and two children really don’t fit in a two bedroom apartment.  For the first year of the child’s life I don’t think it’s been a big deal that she has shared a bedroom with her parents.  But now she’s getting older and should probably be in a separate room.  So even if Cindy wasn’t pregnant, we would still be outgrowing this place.

Guy and I had talked about it.  The temptation is for us to stay and to have Guy and Cindy find somewhere else to live.  It’s easy to say I have too much going on in my own life to be worried about Cindy.  But I also wholeheartedly believe that Cindy and Jayson really can’t survive without some sort of chaperones.  Weird as it may be, Guy and I are the responsible ones.  We take care of the house, we make sure there is food, we pay the bills, and we are the live-in babysitters.  In most cases, it’s not really both Guy and me, it’s just me.

So all these things were going through my head a few nights ago when Cindy approached me and said she wanted to ask something, but she didn’t really think it was fair to ask it.  I guess I had seen it coming.  She asked if we could find a new place to live and have all of us move together.  To some extent I suppose I was flattered that she at least recognized that having me around was important.

But then I ask myself, would it be better to let them go out on their own so they can learn to take care of themselves?  Yeah, it probably would.  Though I’m not sure that’s what would really happen.  I think the first thing that would happen if they were alone is that they would break up.  Their relationship is already far from perfect, with Cindy frequently complaining to me (even four months pregnant) that she really doesn’t like monogamy.  

So Guy and I haven’t made a decision yet.  I think, of course, that we’re learning toward finding a new place for all of us.  But we are weighing our options.  Three bedroom apartments are really expensive in Boston.  We’re even considering the option of finding an apartment building with two different units so we could be close to each other but still each have our own space.

My consultation with a potential surgeon is about six weeks away.  I’m getting excited about it.  Guy and I are going to drive down to Philadelphia and make a little vacation out of it.  In a surprising development, my moms have said they would pay for my surgery if I decide to do it.  Up until now, all the my father has been helping me financially with all the expenses of being trans, like the electrolysis and the hormones, and he had already said he would help with the surgery.  So it was nice to have the offer from my moms as well.  

With our wedding plans kind of stalled already, Guy and I have decided to see how this consult goes before we officially set a date and really focus on making the wedding happen.  Starting in January, he no longer works nights, and it has been really great sharing a bed with him.  I feel like our relationship is more normal again.