Strangers on a page….

I hadn’t planned on writing tonight but that all changed with one entry.  That one enty made me realize that despite being strangers on a page, being nothing more than words…you can care so much more about people on here.  You stumble across random diaries eventually finding one that for one reason or another just clicks with you.  You want to read more.  You want to know more about the person.  Some times you never have any clue of what they truly look like.  You’ll never hear their voice or laugh beyond what your mind has created for them.  They’re just a stranger on a page.  But yet…they aren’t.  I never thought so many years ago when I created a diary on here that in some ways I’d form bonds with people.  I’d be excited to see someone’s name lit up in bold.  I’d be eager to know what was new with them, what has inspired them to write this time.  I never expected that I’d worry about people.  That if someone’s name hadn’t been bold in too long of a time that I’d hope everything was okay with them, that it was good things keeping them away from here.  I never expected the impact that strangers on a page would have with me.  Yet deep down I should have known it would.  Why wouldn’t people on here impact me?  This is one place that we expose ourselves…we let down our walls.  We share our secrets.  We share our flaws and mistakes.  We pour our hearts out at times in our words…sometimes our words are so powerful that others reading them feel what we feel.  They hurt when we hurt.  They get sad when they know we’re upset.  They share our excitement of good news and truly hope for the best for us.  Yet we could walk past each other on the street and never know it some times.  Often we have no face to match the name that someone has chosen for themselves on this site.  Even if there is a name…is it a true name or just something made up? 

What inspired this?  A favorite of mine has…well honestly gone through hell in life lately.  My heart has broke reading this person’s diary entries because it’s been unfair that so much bad luck should be thrown at someone, at someone who deep down is a good person.  I realized that even though this person hasn’t written a lot lately because of all the bad going on in life….it’s never stopped me from worrying about them, of thinking of them and hoping things were finally going good.  I realized I cared as much about this stranger pouring our their life story onto my page as much as I care about some people I see on a daily basis.  They started as just some random person with a random name writing random entries but slowly they became a friend in my eyes.  They became someone that I was okay exposing my secrets to.  I was okay for them to see what was behind the walls I’ve put up in life.  I allowed them access to "friends only" entries.  We shared trust.  A trust we sometimes don’t even give to those close to us in real life.  I won’t get into details of what happened or who but tonight this person’s diary name was bold.  I hoped and prayed that finally good had come to them but…it hadn’t.  My heart cried for them.  I wanted to reach out and hug them.  To try and find the words to tell them that things would be okay.  I wanted to fix the bad in their life even though…they’re just a stranger on a page to me.  I don’t know that this person will read this entry but if they do…I just want them to know I care.  That if they ever hit a point where they feel no one cares about them to realize I do.  That I wonder about them.  That I worry about them but most of all…I’m always hoping good comes to them.  I’m always hoping they get the good they deserve.  Actually let me change that a bit…those last lines go to every favorite diary that I read on here, that I comment on (okay so sometimes I lurk and don’t say a word)…but to all of you…just know there’s always someone out there who does care.  Just know I’m glad that you came into my life even if it’s only through words on a computer screen.  Know that I’m thankful that you’ve seen my darker side, my flaws and screw-ups and yet…you’ve always accepted me and still cared about what was happening to me.  You’ve done something most people in life can’t do.  You’ve accepted who I truly am…good and bad.  You may not agree with all I do but you still care enough to read my words and care what I say and write about.  So I say…thank you for being a stranger on a page to me.