Why Did I Have To Fall In Love With Him?

Why does it always have to be me? I fall for the guys that I don’t think even will ever dig me. I fell for the guy who asked me to prom this year. I don’t know how to tell him that I like him. Everyone was like oh you should go out with him Sonja. I’m like no he’s just a friend. But I don’t know anymore. I keep thinking about him. I keep talking about him. I keep having dreams about him. I keep thinking what if he asked me out? What if? What if? What if? What if?

Why am I driving myself crazy? I don’t think he will ever like me. Nothing more then a friend. Nothing more then that. Oh please God tell me why? Tell me why I for once can’t fall for a guy who would fall for me back? I wish I knew. I wish I didn’t. Oh I don’t know. But I guess most of all I do wish I knew. Knew the truth if he liked me or not. If he thought was crazy or strange. If I was just a little out of my mind or just a little there. If he understood me and the way that I am?

I don’t think anyone will ever understand me. I’m just a crazy crack hore. Well not really. But I am crazy. I just don’t know what to think anymore.

He is so sweet and adorable. I love him to death. He’s my little band play boy. lol That just sounds wrong talking about him. Because he would never do that kind of stuff. But he plays trumpet and he looks so cute when he does that. And his voice is so soothing to me. God! I sound like a romance novel! Someone shot me now! Or at least give me a cure to my problem!