This Ones To BB….

I know who you are, and you know who I am. And I’m not going to turn this into a childish fighting match. To much childish stuff is going on in my life to have to deal with another note leaver. So this is how it is. It wouldn’t of matter if I had stayed friends with the people I had, because even then I was cutting myself. Before I met the posse I was cutting myself. When I knew you and you were the only one I hung out with I was cutting myself.

The thing now is I admit it to people that I do cut myself. They know and they support me when I get like this. My good friend Matt Cox, who is like a brother to me, is helping me find help because I do need it. Because I can’t do this on my own. You don’t know all my friends now. And as always you try to turn this into a Sonja only cares about herself thing.

Which isn’t true. If it was I would of never taken the time to of wrote those e-mails back to you. I wouldn’t still think of you once a week and how I screwed up a great friendship. But I’m better now, without you telling me how egotistical I am. I am better now just for being with the posse and clan ronin together as a whole. Both groups complete me and give me something the other couldn’t and that you guys couldn’t in High School. I’m finally at peace and willing to face my deamons. That’s more then I could say of the old me because well I didn’t want to face the deamons then. I really don’t know but I am.

And that’s how it is bb, and if you have a problem with it. Take it up with me through e-mail or something. Not here, not this place. Because there is already a lot here I’m dealing with that I don’t need this too.

The future is so bright, but I think that’s cause the sun is always rising when the future comes.

~Sonja~