The Future Becomes the Present

I’m not the girl I once was when this went offline. Life has changed me, I often find myself feeling numb or fleeting moments of emotions. Not enough to justify saying x made me feel y. Granted I’m not sure it’s numbness of I’m finally at peace with myself. In 2011 we became pregnant and in that same year lost our son. There used to be days full of pain and crying. But now they are full of me throwing myself at work or causes. I seldom stop to think of myself and my feelings. All I know is for the first time in a long time I don’t feel sad and for that I feel a sense of guilt I suppose. I started a blog to help myself cope but friends used it as a means to argue and fight over the things I said.

I can say I am glad Open Diary is back. I’ve missed being able to come here in a place I felt safe to say what is on my mind and how I feel. I’m hoping to become more active in my writing again. I am sad that I fell out of the habit. We shall see. So here we are where the future has become the present and we create the path of the vanishing points becoming solid steps. Lets see where it takes us.