If Only He Knew…

If only he knew how I feel day and day out. Seeing him in the hallway it hurts because he’s so far away but yet so close. Close enough to touch with my hand. But I can’t, I can’t get close enough to tell him exactly how I feel. I want to scream and see if he hears me sometimes. It hurts walking in the hallway past his locker. I always wish he would be there just so I could at least say hey. And if only the world was ever for me things would be great.

If only he knew how I love him. How it drives me crazy that I can’t talk to him anymore! That it hurts at night when I have so much to say and I have no one to tell it to. After this year I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again. We’ll be far apart in a literal sense this time. I have no idea what to do. I have no idea how to tell him. I have no idea what to do. I don’t even know if he even feels the same way about me. We use to be so close and now we’re far apart. It brings tears to my eyes to think about it. I can’t take it much longer. I really can’t I don’t think. A lot people want me to break down and tell him. But if I do that. I’ll ruin everything, for me and for him. For the world that we both know so well. I have to suffer while he has joy. I let my peace go a long time ago just to know that my insanity is my home.