Falling off the Edge of Reality

Well I did it yesterday. I got all dressed up for him. But you know what, he wasn’t there at all. I’m so mad. So very mad. He wasn’t there at all. I did all that for him. I put on a skirt I hate, hose I hate, hair clippee’s I thought I hated. But I don’t hate them now. They actually looking okay in my hair and my boots that I love. But one of my friends said I deserved it for being all phoney. But I so wish he was there. There’s more to my style then a blue jeans and t-shirt kind of gal. I guess that’s how it goes.

Man I am like so mad though! Okay I was trying to win Nsync tickets. I know Nsync there a boy band why care. I do cause well I like there music and Justin is really really really cute. But anyway this radio station was giving away tickets to tonights show. You had to be caller nine to win. You know who I was. I was stinking caller number 3. Caller number 3. I have been trying for the last five days to win Nsync tickets. Five days, and what do I have to show for it. Nothing, absolutly nothing. Except a few tears of sadness to show my sorrow over not being able to go to the concert event of the year.

My dad says there will be other shows. I know there will be. But I’m only 17 once and how I just wish I could be there right now. Sure I probably couldn’t hear them because of all the screaming fans. But if it means for Justin to just to look and smile at me just once. It’s worth every single scream in my ear. Even if I had to sit by myself I wouldn’t mind I would be okay with it. Because I wouldn’t be totatlly alone. I would be with other fans. It would of been great. Probably one of the best times of my life. What I wouldn’t give to go.

I feel like I betrayed my favorite band though Jars of Clay. They canceled a show on me and I wasn’t this upset except maybe for the fact that I was like I don’t like Jars of Clay for a few days. But I’ve cried over these guys. What makes them any different then the band that help save my life? I don’t know, I really don’t. I wish I did know. I wish I knew what was different. Oh me oh my oh. I’ll write more later. I’m getting to

emotional…