Losing a best friend.

I don’t understand why things are so up and down. Such extreme waves of emotion. One minute i could be riding atop my wave, and suddenly i come crashing down nito an abyss. I don’t get it. First of all, last week, this girl i considered my best friend, the one who swears they’re going to be there for you through anything. She and i have had trouble before, because sometimes i believe she puts boys before me. Especially chase, her boyfriend. I told her before i don’t really like him very much, because i think he’s a jerk and whatnot. I used more vulgar comments than just him as a jerk, but hey, i’m keeping it suttle here. Anyway, i8 went to eat with my whole family at the restaurant where he works. I didn’t even know if he’d be there or not. It’s my family’s favorite place to eat, so i said, sure lets go. Well, we get there sit down and enjoy, of course he’s there. I said hi. I asked him why he was limping, and then he proceeded to delve into conversation, meek one, but a conversation nonetheless. I was polite, sat and talked. Infront of my family of course. Well, i even called terron as i’m sitting there, asking if she’d wanted to talk to him. They talked on my phone for a couple minutes. Well, to make a long story short, he apparently called her that night and told her i was flirting hardcore with him or something odd and ridiculous like that. Now, she’s all pissy, 20 days before we go out of this goddamned school. Bye Bye best friend. I knew it wouldn’t last though. how could something like this last? A friendship where she’s only calling me on occasions when she MAY want to hang out, or because her and chase are fighting. And i was always there. But let her believe what she will. She’s stubborn like that. I don’t give a shit anymore. I’m just ready to be out of highschool and done with the stupid petty fights girls get in over accusations and guys. I am truly and sincerely sorry that terron and i are no longer friends, but as much as i hate to say it, i can’t back down and say i did. Because i didn’t. I don’t like chase, period. I don’t like him in any manner, so it sucks that a friendship was thrown away like that. It was bound to happen though, like i said. I can’t seem to keep people around me that say they care. Oh well, maybe i should just start believing the opposite of what people tell me. I donno…maybe ji’m just feeling sorry for myself, but when it comes down to losing the one person i thought i could really count on, the one girl who was my sister and my opposite in so many ways, then i have every right to be down. It sucks. Everything does, and by the way, my boyfriend dumped me this morning at 6am. My senior prom is 3 days away. My luck huh?…later.

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friends that leave were never really friends at all..for some reason..i thought about you today…i miss you heffer.i love you still..p.s. my prom is this weekend too 🙂

May 4, 2003

Heyyy I was in Tulsa yesterday…the third, and I kept trying to come by your house and see you 🙁 I stopped by twice with Justin but you weren’t home 🙁 *hugs* I’ll be back in around the 31st…I hope you’re there!!! -Kari