sisters

Maggie, Mary and I went to visit Louise (Maggie’s daughter) for a few days.

Maggie and I are very much alike and pretty much best friends.

Mary and I are very different and pretty much rub each other the wrong way pretty much all the time.

After two attempts to write an entry about our weekend, I’ve given up and will use the following phrase to summarize the trip.

NEVER AGAIN!

Maggie agrees.

We will continue to have our annual sisters weekend, but won’t push for the three of us to take a road trip together to visit someone. The three of us together are okay, but when you add an audience for Mary, it is unbearable. (Maggie and I were hoping to get Mary to agree to take a road trip to visit with one of our aunts but after this fiasco don’t want it to happen).

… and, frankly, won’t always PUSH for the annual sisters weekend. Over the years, it has become apparent that Mary isn’t that interested in spending time with us – it must be uncomfortable for her too. I mean, Maggie and I are so different from her, it can’t be fun for her. Mag and I have to push to get a commitment – we have to rearrange our schedules to accommodate Mary – and ultimately we get to the point where she can’t come up with any more excuses to not go. The only thing left for her to say is “I don’t want to”.

Ah. Family.

Is it ever easy?

* * * * *

We went to a little touristy town for the afternoon one day. I saw a painting that I just loved. Now, you must understand that I rarely see anything that I really love. Especially something like a painting. I’m just not into that stuff.

It was $350.

I would really like it, but just cannot justify buying it.

My debt just keeps going up. My credit card is maxed. How did that happen??????

Hopefully Lara will remember that she is supposed to repay me some of what I’ve given her during the last few years.

or, to rephrase …

Hopefully Lara sticks with this job long enough to repay me some of what I’ve given her during the last few years.

The adjustment to her new job has been very difficult. Her first rotation was supposed to be two weeks at the camp then a week off. Unfortunately, there had been a mix-up in the scheduling and they asked if she would postpone her week off for two weeks. So, she has been there for FOUR weeks … working 12 hours shifts (8 p.m. – 8 a.m.) … with only two days off. The four weeks ends on Tuesday. She is terribly anxious to get home for a week!

Plus starting a new job is always a challenge, and this is a totally different environment from what she is used to.

I kept telling her she needed to give herself a chance to settle in – the first couple weeks are always bad and she was dealing with exhaustion (it took her a while to adjust to working all night and sleeping all day) … and, of course, to being away from home.

… and the final piece of advice “keep your eye on the prize”.

There is a reason people get paid so much for doing that job.

It isn’t easy.

Things seem to have begun to fall into place over the last few days. She’s getting more comfortable in her position and can recognize what needs to be done. Hopefully her week at home won’t make her reconsider and decide to quit. This job is such an opportunity for her to get her finances in order. Even if she only lasts for one year, it will pay off her debt so at least she isn’t always behind.

Everyone is there for the same reason – the money. Everyone hates it, but they tolerate it because they like the money. She recognizes that other people have sacrificed more than her – one of her coworkers has a family – an eight year old and his wife is eight months pregnant. He is on the same rotation as Lara – home for only one week each month. Now, that would be hard.

* * * * *

Erin’s graduation is on Wednesday.

She invited her dad. He told her he would be there. Ugh.

She apologized to me for inviting him … she didn’t think he’d agree to be there, but is trying to maintain a relationship with her father. I told her ‘no problem’. He can sit with Dave, I’ll sit by myself.

I know I need to be more grown up about it – especially since everyone believes he will be in Thailand for Will’s wedding. It will be impossible to avoid him there so I guess this will be a chance for me to see how it goes.

When I think of being in the same room with him, I feel sick. He is an ignorant clod … but more than that, he scares me. When we were married, he would always make idle threats about what he’d do to people he didn’t like.

He absolutely hates me. If you could see the way he looks at me, you would understand.

And, he is mentally unstable.

Depending on what substances he is currently abusing, he definitely has the potential to be violent. He was never physically abusive towards me personally … but he didn’t hate me then. He definitely does now.

Just breathe …

* * * * *

My friend at work complained of a sharp pain in her chest on Friday. It wasn’t steady and seemed to come when she moved a certain way.

She’s a bit of a hypochondriac and there isn’t a week that goes by that she doesn’t complain about something. Now, this doesn’t mean she hasn’t had legitimate problems – she’s had a couple kidney stones during the last few years, so I guess that just made her hyper sensitive to any discomfort.

… anyway …

When she told me about the pain on Friday, I told her that I didn’t think heart attacks presented as a sharp pain like that … and the fact that it happened when she moved in a specific way made me wonder if it was muscular.

She was very worried and totally preoccupied, so mid-afternoon I suggested she call her doctor … whose receptionist told her to go immediately to ER.

She never does anything without getting approval, so came and told me what the doc’s office had said and asked if I thought she should go to ER. I told her that she needed to get it checked to put her mind at ease, so I absolutely agreed she should go to the hospital.

(I just realized that I should have offered to drive her! OMG. I’m so thoughtless. But … I sincerely believed she was overreacting and it never occurred to me that it might actually be serious.)

She texted 1/2 hour later to say that they had taken her right in … and that her heart rate and BP were both up.

My response was “they don’t mess around with chest pain”. Of course her BP was up … she thought she was having a heart attack! That kind of stress will put anyone’s BP up. In my opinion, that was not a symptom!

That was around 3:15.

I texted her again around 6 asking how things were going and that I hoped her silence was just because they were waiting for test results and NOT that she was admitted.

Then around 8 I started to get worried.

What IF it was something serious, and she didn’t go to ER immediately because I had told her the pain wasn’t a symptom of a heart attack?

OMG. What if she died because she delayed going to the doctor because of something I had said!?

I vowed to stop being such a know-it-all.

Thankfully, she texted around 9:30. Seems her phone wasn’t sending texts! She had been home for several hours. Doc told her it was just a stitch in her si

de and nothing serious.

(I was right!)

I was very happy it wasn’t anything.

… and I definitely need to be more thoughtful. I should have driven her to the hospital!

I am going to do my best to stick with my resolution to stop being a know-it-all, though. This was a good lesson that had a happy ending.

(I’ll let you know how it goes. This will be a major change in my personality.)

* * * * *

Kinda down in the dumps today. Not sure why. I’ve been feeling alright about my life lately. I definitely need to figure out my money …

Boss and I have had a few good talks about the business recently. I think we’re facing some big changes in the next year. If he decides to move on, our little company will be purchased by a much larger one. I’m pretty sure we will be ‘absorbed’ and our jobs will be eliminated. It is a concern.

* I WISH YOU WELL! *