rehab

The 22 year old daughter of a couple I know recently went to rehab.

Originally, I understood the problem was that she was trying to get off pot. I guess once she got there, it became apparent that the problem was waaaay bigger than they realized. I don’t know all the details, but I do know that prescription painkillers was a big part of the problem.

The pictures of the facility they chose made it look like a resort. Located on a lake in a remote area, it seemed like she would be going away to summer camp! (Well, summer camp in the dead of winter.) Of course, they listed all the extra benefits of this place over all the others.

So she was signed up and went on Boxing Day. She was to stay a minimum of 45 days. First, though, there was a medically supervised detox.

It’s important to note that this was initiated by the daughter herself. She realized she was in trouble, so there was no ‘intervention’ or having to force her into rehab. She wanted it.

She wasn’t allowed to contact her family for the first 5 days. This is huge because these people are in constant contact. The daughter has an apartment, but it is 20 minutes from the family home and her mother is always there … doing her cooking … picking up or delivering her laundry … or, the daughter is at home.

If they aren’t together (neither the mother nor the daughter work), they are talking on the phone … or texting. We’re talking total connection!

Sometimes I think I’m strange. I can go days without talking to my kids (weeks in Williams case) (except when Lara is frustrated with work – during those times, she usually calls me each day on her way home to complain). Mostly, I think we’re normal. I don’t think it’s healthy for young adult children to tell their parents EVERYTHING that is going on in their lives. I don’t need to know when or where they are going, and I certainly don’t need them to call me when they get home. Their sexual relationships are kept private from their mother … and the details of mine (if I had one!) would most definitely NOT be shared with my children.

Anyway … back to the ‘addict’ (as her mother calls her)

So, after 5 days they were allowed to speak … and after one week away, her mother was allowed to visit each weekend.

The daughter hated it. She hated everything … the food, the location, the support. I don’t think she made 30 days.

Now, I admit that don’t know much about these types of facilities, besides watching Intervention. Actually, my brother-in-law is a recovering alcoholic who did a couple stints to get sober and subsequently worked at a rehab … he doesn’t talk about it much, but every now and again will make some comment that supports my opinion – it is not fun and everyone hates it. If they are having fun, they aren’t doing the work!

I don’t talk to the parents about it much, but every now they’ll say something to me.

The most recent … she is drinking vodka.

Their comments?

Father “I’d rather she drink vodka than take drugs”

Mother “She isn’t a sloppy drunk and knows not to drive”

Okay. I’m sorry.

I personally don’t think replacing one addiction with another is a good thing.

And, alcohol is a very destructive substance.

I think I’m more concerned about her drinking than her parents are. They seem okay with it and it isn’t my place to say anything.

Their family is all pretty messed up.

The father is a pothead. The son is 18 and was totally anti-drinking and drugs up until last year … when his father ‘turned him on’ to pot. He immediately started smoking daily. A wee bit of an addictive personality?

I believe the mother does pharmaceutical pain killers – she mentioned it once, but explained it was due to *insert various medical conditions* here. It also sounds like she was pretty wild and crazy in her youth.

The whole damn family has problems.

I really don’t see how that girl is ever going to be able to straighten out her life unless she distances herself from her family – but, they are all so dysfunctional those kids aren’t equipped to function on their own. Neither of them have ever had to work and rely completely on their parents.

Honestly, besides having the parents talk to me every now and again, I’m not involved at all. I feel bad for them all because they are all so messed up …

But, mostly it makes me appreciate how independent and successful my children are.

I have my issues (total lack of balance … all work, hardly any play), but I’m grounded and fairly comfortable with my life.

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The promotion didn’t get announced before Boss went away on a business trip, so will happen next week. I still don’t know what they’re going to call me. It doesn’t matter, really. But, if they are doing this for effect, hopefully they’ll actually pick something decent.

Then I need to order new business cards (well, if I like the title they decide on).

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BEAUTIFUL day today. Sun shining, supposed to go up to 7. The snow will go down a lot this week!! I’ve had breakfast and my coffee and am almost ready to get going. I’ll turn on my audio book and start puttering.

Honestly, my house is a mess. I’ve just been so tired this week I haven’t done hardly anything. With the lack of space in my non-kitchen, a couple days worth of dishes/mess becomes overwhelming.

I’m thinking if I ever have a month where the kids and animals don’t create more debt, I’ll buy myself a dishwasher. I have one, but it currently houses my baking tins. It had problems from the minute I moved in, so I just haven’t bothered with it.

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* I WISH YOU WELL! *