01/18/2014

The end of 2013 and start of 2014 has been pretty challenging … Mother Nature has been a bitch (although I have only been affected peripherally) and work is just about killing me. My kiddies all seem to be doing well, so I can’t attribute this ‘mood’ I’m in to worrying about them.

I’m just going through … something.

Nothing that is particularly unusual for me – I am always antisocial and prefer the company of myself and my animals over interacting with anyone else. But, I’ve been extremely extreme lately.

Leading into Christmas, we had that big ice storm. Unlike many people who spent the holidays in the dark and cold, I had electricity and other than a car that was covered in ice, the big storm really didn’t affect me. The area of our office was hit hard … we didn’t have any internet/phones for a couple days. This didn’t make boss very happy – especially that we closed the office early on both the 23rd and 24th. I argued with him that there was no point in staff being there when we couldn’t do anything (once the cleaning and filing was done, we were pretty pooched). As it turned out, the problems really had nothing to do with the storm or that damn cable that was laying across the road for two days. The 7 hour power outage was the catalyst for a couple hardware problems which were easily fixed … easily fixed if someone would have had the insight to actually call the IT/phone guys. We all ASSUMED the issues were due to that damn cable. I felt horrible that we lost two full days when the problems were actually quick fixes. Ultimately, it was me who called the IT/phone guys and got everything operational again …. but e lost two full days. I felt/feel totally responsible and incompetent. Like ‘if I could I would quit’ responsible. Like ‘I should be terminated’ responsible. As it turned out, three of us went in on Boxing Day to get everything done that we could. Boxing Day (the 26th) is a stat holiday, and the owners decided to close on the 27th so no one had to bother coming in for one day. It was very nice of them, but under the circumstances (losing two days before Christmas), it would have been better to have been open.

My Christmas was lovely! I went to get Erin Christmas Eve so she was home for the big day. She had to work on Boxing Day (big sales in retail!) so I drove her home after we had our Turkeyless Dinner. Then she and her boyfriend came back for a couple days (27th – 29th) and we had a really, really nice time.

Sidebar … William and Nao gave me the ugliest purse I’ve ever seen. I really don’t know what to do! It is very good quality – they bought it at an exclusive boutique while they were here in September, so probably paid quite a bit for it. When I opened it, Erin and I just looked at each other in horror. I’m very happy that Will and Nao weren’t here – I’m not sure how I could have reacted any differently! But, since it came from my kids, I will be carrying it this summer. At least some of the time. My one sis said to return it – but I can’t do that. When William and I were talking that day, he told me how they had picked it out for me because they knew I would find all the pockets useful (pockets that look like silver growths on the side of a glittery handbag. You know that silver rubbery material that spacemen always wore in those old B- movies back in the 60’s? Well, just imagine a few blobs stitched to a denim purse that sparkles and you’ll have my purse .. oh wait! A picture is worth a thousand words, right?

trust me – the picture doesn’t do it justice

I turned 57 on the 27th. The age really doesn’t bother me. Looking in the mirror kind of does – getting on the scales kind of does – my lack of physical activity does – my avoidance of people does – the things that aren’t getting done around my house does … and the fact that most of those things are fixable but I’m not doing anything to fix them does. The fact that this is a recurring theme of my life … that definitely bothers me!

Anyway …

I finally took a good look at my finances. I have way too much debt and have put myself onto a very strict budget. If I stick to it, I can be debt free in 3 years. At 60. Then, and only then, can I start saving money for my ‘retirement’.

I read a great book – Debt Free For Life (Gail vaz Oxlade … she’s Canadian) and am following the protocol she sets out. I’m going to give a copy to each of my children because she gives such good advice and if they follow it, they will not be in a similar situation when they’re my age.

Unfortunately, my plan has already has a serious wrinkle. Little One, one of my (Lara’s) kitties, is going in for surgery on Wednesday. She has to have her anal glands removed. The cost, as far as surgery goes, is reasonable ($2,000) but it is a fairly risky procedure with potentially serious side effects … one of them being incontinence. If that happens, I will have to make a terrible, terrible decision. But … we aren’t focusing on that possibility. Everything is going to be wonderful (our vet said the chances of problems are very low).

I was chatting with Boss yesterday and he commented that he had been talking with the CEO of a similar (but much larger) company. Seems the stress level for their staff is through the roof. I said to him “your staff is stressed too … just that we have 1/8 of the staff so it doesn’t seem as serious.” He compared us to Zappos … they’re a successful on-line shoe retailer who he always talks about. “How do they do it then? They have X employees but don’t seem to have anywhere near the stress as us! What are we doing wrong?” …

pfft. They deal direct to consumers. We deal with retailers! Trying to keep the retailers happy is our biggest challenge … and a lot of what we do likely doesn’t even affect the consumer!

Seems he never considered that. The lightbulb was evident

(Note to self … if I decide to go into business, do not use a middleman! Go to the end user personally)

Guess I’ll get at it. Laundry is in (unfortunately, dryer is dead so I have to make a trip to the laundromat) … I have to finish undecorating the house – the tree is mostly bare and boxes have been strewn around the living room all week … dirty dishes are soaking in the sink … there is an urgent need to do the sweeping/vacuuming/dusting … floors definitely need to be mopped .. I have to run to pet store for dog food and kitty litter … should definitely call Aunt Pearl (Dad’s twin sister – she turned 91 in December!!) … still haven’t written my Christmas letter, perhaps it should be more of a ‘New Year greetings’ note? Haven’t done one for over 12 years. My Christmas letters were so good when kids were little and I was happy … and nothing will get done if I keep sitting here …

* I WISH YOU WELL! *