What’s going on here at OD
I sit here just stunned and annoyed. People are tired of sharing their lives and being judged by others. I remember why I came here to OD was because I felt welcomed and accepted by others. I loved how open and honest others were and it was inspiring to me.
I would read the few favorites that I have and could be encouraged, uplifted, laugh, or related to the person and want to reach out and encourage and love that person struggling. Now quite a few friends of mine are closing up. Tired of being judged. Tired of being put down or told they are so wrong. Tired of negativity around them.
Now I have very few favorites who read me and I have never experienced all of this negativity. I have favorites, who are struggling and going through some very dark times. I can relate. I know some may find that hard to believe. If you haven’t known me very long you may not be able to imagine how dark and depressed I have been.
I had an online journal that was filled with a lot of pain. I opened up my heart and poured it all out. I went through a whole lot in a very short time. I ended up even hurting myself on purpose. My journal was theraputic for me. I did find myself sometimes wanting to hide everything I was going through and block people from reading my words.
I was yelled at for not being positive enough for being told it was a pity party. It hurt even more and angered me because I was trying to heal and get well. I had some good days and would share with them and I had hard days and would share.
In time I healed and rised above all of that pain. I never thought I would. Oh I wanted to but it seemed almost impossible when you are hurting and suffering. Right now my life is the way I had dreamed and wished it would and could be.
My health was restored even though I was balancing on death and my doctor didn’t think I would make it. My heart has healed and I love myself and can let others love me and I can love them. The nightmares of being raped have faded and it is rare if I have them if ever. I found real love in a man who is perfect for me. The scars on my arms and legs where I use to cut myself have all faded away.
My writing helped me work through things. I felt like I had to shield myself from others who would judge me and bring me down. I learned to limit with whom I let in my life and read my journal and eliminate those who would bring me down.
It wasn’t that easy but I did it. I just wish people were more open minded and less judgmental. Don’t read someone because you like to disagree with them or put them down for being human. Do you think you some how win when you get the person to close up and stop sharing what they love or sharing their pain and suffering.
IT IS OK TO BE HUMAN. IT IS OK TO MAKE HUGE FUCKING ASS MISTAKES! IT IS OK TO HAVE AN OPINION. WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS AND THAT IS AWESOME IF YOU ASK ME!
Amen, sister. (found you on the front page.) I, too, use my diary as a sounding board for my emotions and I’m not ashamed of it. People leaving nasty notes are just…gross. You have the right idea. This is a positive community and it should be a safe space to vent, if you need to!
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I hate it when people are trying to reach out and all they receive is negativity. I have encountered very little of that here, and I’m proud to say that. And I’ve been on OD for around 8 or 9 years now. Preachin’ to the choir! {{hugs}} -from purplemouse, not yet signed in
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random noter: very true! people should just leave you alone, if they dont anything nice to say than they shouldnt say anything at all 🙂
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Thanks for writing this. It obviously hit home for me. Big hugs to you.
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The above note was from me, I forgot to sign in.
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this place has DEFINITELY changed a lot as far as fellow readers go, since I started years and years ago.. and it’s not all for the better.
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i agree to some extent. some people have serious problems. ive had clinical depression for 10 years now. im not that irritated when people get so pent up, that they cut, but it does bother/irriate me when you have kids going around with razor blades around their neck, and are only doing it for the attention and to fit in to some trend. ~ambz
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I’ve seen mostly positive reinforcement here, and have distanced my self from those who live for drama. I live a life of joy, of love, and of peace for the most part, and when my life is turbulent it isn’t because I am enjoying the melodrama. I surround my self with people who live the same way. It’s cyclical here. The drama shall pass and those looking to stir trouble will move elsewhere.
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Found you on Reader’s Choice… I agree. I always incredibly avoid OD drama; I have OD+ to block it instantly. I have enough real life stuff to deal with including anxiety and panic, let alone some crap someone across the world may think of me! Well spoken my dear..
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random noter–you are so right. i’ve been od on and off for almost 10 years, but here lately its been almost dicouraging to write.
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I find you on random and i too also use my diary to wtite everything down no matter how bad my life is or how it sounds, but unfortunately like some of your faves I was judged online by others for several years in fact I was bulled online by a diarist here at OD named Kaliko but anyways I am going to pick ur entry as readers choice if i can.
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Awww.I have been fortunate enough to have very supportive faves…I am sorry that others have not been as lucky.
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if I can be added to your friends list that would be great
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A great big DITTO to everything you just said! The whole point of a diary is to rant and rave and express what’s going on in your head. If people don’t like it, they can simply chose not to read it. There’s no need to be rude and judgmental or make someone feel worse than they already do.
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I agree.
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Thank you so much for sharing this – you are right on every point. My time here at OD has been a massive ride, and the people here were my sanity for a long while – full of encouragement and support whenever I needed to fill an unbiased ear. There were times when I shut off though in defense to horribly negative notes that were left on my page so I completely understand. Big giant hugs 🙂
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i completely agree – i miss when OD lacked judgmental feelings, it used to be such a therapeutic thing for me too. i’m glad you’re doing better though 🙂
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I blame facebook and the homoginisation of the internet. Now its for everyone. OD by its very nature had that “secret society” kinda thing going for it. Probably still does for new members. Keep on trucking! 😀
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Well said 🙂 I found you on Reader’s Choice. I’m so glad ot hear that you healed in more ways than one. The 8 years I have been on OD have been more therapeutic than I can ever describe. And if people choose to judge me, it’s their loss, not mine. *hugs* Always,
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very well said! I hope all is well in your world!
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I saw you on the front page and I have noticed this lately too. I’ve had an opendiary here for several years now and have had several friends stop or limit their writing due to judging and negativity…I’ve even been a victim of the judging and negativity…when this shouldn’t be a place for that. Hopefully enough of us will encourage acceptance to make a change.
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(found you on the front page) all I can say is thank you… hopefully people will read you and be more aware.
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I’m pretty new here so I don’t know how its always been but I haven’t seen anything bad on here so far. Granted I haven’t read alot of diarys. But I thought it said in the tos that you couldn’t leave rude notes or your diary would be deleted. Guess they aren’t enforcing it?
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I haven’t had problems myself but I’m generally favourites only these days and I’ve had the same faves for years… some of them since I joined. I remember how far down you were and I was so worried so I am so happy to see how far you’ve come. I knew you would.. I know you doubted at times but I am soooo proud of you DeeDee *hugs*
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Hi, Found you on Reader’s Choice. There are still a lot of good people here on OD. Come over to my diary and read some of the people who note me. They’re good, non-judgemental people. I’m pretty good myself at listening and caring. You are so right that it’s ok to be human & it’s ok to make mistakes. And it is absolutely awesome that we are all individuals and have our own opinions. I agree that people need to be supportive & if they can’t be, they need to find a way of saying what they need/want to say without putting the other person down. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by people here. Keep looking for the good ones – they DO exist. Take care and may life treat you gently today.
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I agree with you, ma’am. Some people are rude and unwise, but those who care will rise above all that. You should never stop sharing, because I also know how much it helps. The Lord loves all, lostdestiny
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Wow, that’s a ralley clever way of thinking about it!
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