Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

The radio plays Judy Garland singing “Have yourself a Merry little Christmas…” and my mind goes back to the many wonderful memories of my childhood. These memories that my Parents, Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles made so special for me leave a small smile on my face. Yes I miss those days but I cherish my memories.

On December 23rd 1998, I stood on the rolling Hollywood Hills of Forest Lawn listening to my Dad who is a Pastor perform a small service for my Grandma Sue, my Mom’s Mother. Oh how the tears did flow that day. I could not help it. Papoo, the name I gave her as a small child, like all my grandparents had made a special impact in my life.

While deep down inside I knew she was no longer suffering from all the pain and misery that cancer had been giving her, I still wept because she was gone from my life this Christmas 1998. Yes, I could be angry that she was inflicted with cancer, or that she “was taken from me” at Christmas time”. However is that really what is going on here? Should I be focusing on how her life came to an end and/or whine and complain at how bad of a time it was for me that she passed away?

No I should not. Why? Well, I could lose sight of the wonderful gift my Grandmother was to me. The joyful memories could end up leaving you bitter and sad. Christmas won’t be a time to celebrate anymore, instead you may end up dwelling on what you lost, instead of what you gained and passing it on to others.

My Grandma and Grandpa worked very hard to make Christmas special each year. They would use decorations from their parents and from the days my mom was a child. The entire house on the inside was like a winter wonderland and I would wander around each year in awe to see what was done different and what I could find again. Oh the Christmas Tree was always beautiful and a surprise. Sometimes they would put up one of the old artificial trees from the past that was the “latest fad”. Oh my they had saved them. It was so much fun to see these all set up in there aluminum glory!

Papoo, my Grandma made delicious cookies and treats, that I still love to make. Yes this year I made some of those same cookies with my son that she use to always make!

Around the holidays we would watch lots of old Christmas movies at my Grandparents. I still love watching them and think about my Grandparents everytime. I may get a little teary eyed but then I remember what a wonderful gift it is to be able to remember them.

My Husband and Son will never get to meet them. However they will get to know them by knowing me and learning the Christmas joy and traditions My Grandma taught me.

I have lost many loved ones and family over the holidays. I mourn them, and it hurts, but I made a personal decision not to let it rob me of showing my family and my friends the joys and the traditions shown to me and given to me. I know very well, that My Grandma did so much for to make the Holidays so extra special and because she enjoyed them also. I want to be like her and spread that love and joy to others during Christmas.

So instead of saying “Oh the Holidays are so hard because I miss….. so and so…….. or I lost my dear and loved…….so and so.” I am going to say, “I remember how much My Grandma loved Christmas and made this day so special for me.”

I do know it is a lot easier to be like this because I do have the love and joy of Jesus in my heart and Christmas is about celebrating His birthday. Christmas is a celebration of LIFE. His life, your life, my life and even my Grandma’s. So while in 1998 my Grandma left us here on earth and I miss her, she is home with Jesus. Also I know that even though she went on to be with Jesus around Christmastime, I WILL HAVE MYSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS.

I wish each of you a Very Merry Christmas and pray you remember the pleasant and joy filled memories and embrace them. Let your heart be filled with love and joy and share it with everyone around you!

Dee or as my Grandma called me DeeDee