Dear ActionMan

I love you so very much and that no matter what happens with this situation we’re in and no matter what you decide I will stand by you and I’ll be there for you (and the baby if it goes that way and he is yours).

I just want to point out a few things that I have been thinking about today as it has played on my mind a lot today…

* If the baby is born and she does want him great but we need to watch her like a bloody hawk, in order to ensure the welfare of the child.

* If the baby is born with disabilities and she wants him what will happen regarding his healthcare?

* If the baby is born healthy and she wants you to have him, is that what you would want? What would happen if you were then deployed? Would you allow visitation? Would you want supervised visitation? What about child support?

* If the baby is born with disabilities and she wants you to have him, do you think you would be able to cope with that? How would afford the healthcare required to ensure his well being? How would you afford medications for his conditions? What would happen with visitations, deployement, child support etc?

* If the baby is born and has disabilities and she wanted to put him up for adoption would you agree? How would you feel?

Now my thoughts are this…

If she has the baby and he is healthy fine, great, whatever…but what happens with deployment etc if he is given over to you.

If she has the baby and he has disabilities I honestly don’t think that either of you are able financially to deal with the situation in the best way in the early years. I don’t think any less of either of you because of it, it’s just how I see it. I also think that she would chuck him over to you in this situation and that you would have to deal with all this by yourself and when you get deployed it would have to fall on your family and how would they deal and cope with a disabled child? How would it impacty their lives? I think in this situation adoption would have to be considered.

But that’s just my opinion, and what am I in it all really? I’m just your girlfriend.

Like I say though, I love you, and what ever happens, happens, and what ever you choose I’ll still be by your side. I’ll still want to be with you forever, and if she does chuck the baby and run I will be the best person I can, if she’s in the picture being Mummy then I’ll be the best stepmother possible. If she doesn’t want to be around then I will happily adopt him once we’re married, because if he is yours then he’s part of you, and I’ll love him like he’s my own. We just have to wait and see what happens next.

I did actually send him this.